𝓑𝓲𝓷𝓭 S. Aizawa

Chapter 104 | Shake My Hand

"Shaking my hand?" He looked up at me, and I averted his gaze. "You might as well have me sign papers."

"Just shake my fucking hand and let's make this agreement official." I groaned, rolling my eyes.

"We could do a number of other things to make it official, but whatever you say." He lifted his arm and slid his strong hand into mine, gripping it and roughly shaking it.

I ignored the feeling of a working man's hands as I quickly slipped my hand away from his. I ignored what he said perfectly by ending the conversation.

"Well." I clicked my teeth. "Bye."

I turned quickly to leave out the conjoining door. He grabbed my inner elbow.

"So soon?" He asked, standing up and getting closer to behind me.

"So soon?" I scoffed. "I can't leave any sooner." I rolled my eyes.

"We have an agreement, so can you agree to stop being so distant?" He whispered, getting close to the side of my head, closer to my ear.

"Distant?" I asked. "Yes, whatever, okay."

"Then sit back down." He spun me around to face his chest, and I looked up.

I didn't speak, I couldn't think of anything to say.

He grabbed my shoulders and turned me so he could shove me back onto the couch.

I laughed nervously. "What else do we need to talk about?"

He squatted down quickly in front of me. "What do you want to talk about?"

My face flushed so red I thought I could see the color.

"Feminine." He said, lifting a finger to trail up my bare arm.

I tilted my head to question.

"You still blush."

I closed my eyes in anguish, I hated how I blushed, it made me feel like a middle schooler.

His finger trailed up until it met my shoulder.

"Hm." He said, standing back up.

I opened my eyes, confused.

He sat on the end table in front of me and parted his legs draping his hands between them, staring at me.

"Let's talk about tomorrow." He said.

"Tomorrow?" I asked.

"The party?"

"Oh, yeah." I turned away from him.

"Do you not want to go?" He turned his head so I would look at him again.

"I do, I just don't have anything to wear." I admitted, kind of lying kind of not.

I was nervous to show up with him. Would he even show up with me?

"That's covered." He assured me.

I nodded, but he was still and it felt like he was bearing into my soul.

"What else?" He asked.

"What?" I played dumb.

"There's something else you're worried about, what?"

I sighed.

"Are we making the agreement public?" I asked.

"No. Don't expect that out of me." He said. "This is an agreement not a relationship."

I wasn't disappointed, I expected that, I just wanted to make sure. And I was a little nervous on what he would say, just in case.

"Got it." I said.

"Good."

"I'm tired." I wasn't but I kind of felt like making myself a big meal and chilling out because I had the biggest weight off my shoulders.

I'm free from what I've been so paranoid about and I just want to chill.

He put his hand out, gesturing to the way I came in. I stood up and walked over, then turned around.

"Where's the dress for tomorrow?" I asked.

"Right there." He pointed to the direction his bed was and a dress sat atop the end.

I walked over, the dress was red and black, glittered, glammed, all of the above. It was pretty. There were 4 straps, thick and skinny. It wasn't a scandalous dress or anything but it was sure to catch attention. I took and folded it neatly, careful not to disturb the glitz going on.

"Thank you." I said, not turning around as I headed out of the conjoining door, closing it behind me.

I went into my apartment and set the dress on top of my dresser. Then I decided I was actually was tired, and I shuffled to my bed.

Falling onto it I did something that confused me. I cried. Maybe it was because I felt lighter. I feel like it is but then again I feel like it's something more. Like I've always wanted something more, relationship wise, but I don't deserve that. I know that, it's just hard not to expect more when that's exactly what you want.

I cried feeling both, it was tragically annoying but I curled up and eventually fell asleep.

Waking up to a crisp morning and natty hair was actually pretty peaceful.

The party is today. I looked over at my dresser to spot the beautiful dress.

I'm such a hypocrite, what is my problem? I knew what I was getting into, I knew what to expect. Why am I acting so disappointed? Do I want more than this?

Yes of course I do, but I can't wish for things I don't deserve. I need to take what I can get.