𝓑𝓲𝓷𝓭 S. Aizawa

Chapter 101 | Friday

I can't do anything, I can never speak up. I couldn't back then and I can't now. I'm a pussy.

I can't help but think about Friday. Present Mic's birthday. Today is Wednesday, today and tomorrow. I have to fix this or something I don't know. I had a whole fucking mental pep talk about how I deserve this and how I was going to accept this but was I really ready? Maybe not at that moment but I was just slapped in the face by reality.

I feel like I can see things now, he just spat out my thoughts directly to me. He wants to hear me say it though. Can I do that? Not like he deserves it but honestly he's right, he's not that much of a liar. He's big on sarcasm and stupid jokes but he hasn't really lied to me. At the same time I don't see him coming out and telling me that he wants me. Who is he to say any fucking thing? I never once heard him say he wanted anything. He was just stating what he believed I wanted.

He's in the wrong too, asshole, he thought he had the upper hand. Preaching like he knew everything.

I sighed. Still, I need to find a way to do something. I want to be at that party, not because I want to go but because I want to go with him. I want to show up at the party with him. I want people to see us. Would he want that?

I imagine him and me, on our desk and I want to slap myself. All I had to do was admit it, then I wouldn't be here. Alone.

Should I show up at his door like he showed up at mine? Or should I leave him alone until tomorrow? I feel like it's too fresh to pick at right now. I can fix this, but not right now.

I lazily headed back to my apartment and hesitantly fell asleep, scared for tomorrow.

Waking up I put on clothes with no effort and no care to what I was wearing. Then, I said goodbye to Gizmo for the day and headed to class.

Walking in I spotted an empty desk and a class full of students. I sat and waited for him to enter. Depending on his entrance.

He didn't show up, and neither did he for the next class, or the next. I had been spacing off the whole day, thinking about what I was going to do. I wasn't sure, but I had an inkling and at the last class that inkling became bigger.

When class ended I went back to my apartment and put on a black tank top and jogging pants. Then I left my apartment.

He's not sick I know he isn't. I think he's just taking a break, from me.

I stood in front of his door and without hesitation knocked with my fists. Then I stood straight and waited.

I heard shuffling after a minute or so and then the door opened only a slit.

"Hey-" I didn't get to finish before the door closed in my face.

Fair.

I banged both of my fists again, louder this time, with a tight smile plastered on my face.

I heard the shuffling of feet again, but this time they were walking away.

I banged even harder.

The shuffling came quicker this time and the door opened quickly but he was careful to only open it a slit.

"Let me in."

"No." Then he shut the door.

How is he going to say to come to him when I've decided I want to say what I want but won't even let me say it?

"Do I actually have to run?" I yelled, banging my fists on the door.

"Yes." He grunted back.

"I'm mentally running, let me in."

"No."

"Stop being an a-hole, I'm here to apologize."

"Your fist going to meet my jaw like last time?" He gritted, muffled through the door.

"Haven't decided, but open this door and there will be a lower chance."

I heard walking, but away from the door.

I started banging on the door again and then kicking with one foot.

"I can stand here all night." I yelled.

"That's what you will do then." He yelled, more muffled than before.

I groaned and turned around to have my back to the door. Sliding down to the ground I had my legs flat out and my hands folded in my lap.

"You fucking asshole, just let me in." I yelled.

"Calling me an asshole won't make me open that door." He muffled back.

"What do you want me to call you then?"

Then the TV turned on, not loud but at a volume that lets me know, 'shut the fuck up'. Groaning again I started to get gears turning in my head for a plan.