A Blade and an Arrow

Euphoria

n. so, um, wazUp. been a few days, weeks? hahahahahsjsjaaaahahahaimsosorryfornotupdating.

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Feng Xin sometimes ask, what is love? Why does it feel so good, yet hurts at the same time? So beautiful, and so ugly. It's a parallel in one.

However, if one would think literally, it is an emotion. A very, very strong emotion that could rival fear. Ranks higher than anger, and even happiness. Meaning it's beyond joy.

On the contrary, it ranks higher than pain too. So, it's beyond pain as well.

Some had said that love and pain are not emotions. Though, you feel emotions when you love, or get hurt. You feel happy when you're in love, and you feel sad when you're in pain.

It's bullshit.

For one, Feng Xin doesn't think that love has to have a deeper meaning to it. Nor does pain have to have something to make it less... well, painful.

It doesn't matter whether it's an emotion, sensation or feeling at all. What matters is that it's so shitty. It makes people feel random things. Uncertainty will place itself on their tongue, because most doesn't know they're in love. Hell, they say they're in love just because they're attracted to their partner.

But in reality it's just attraction.

Or some would call it as infatuation.

And yet, both pain and love was something people value the most.

They make poems for the two. They make specific days for those two. Mortals would even act upon the emotion those two fuckers make them feel.

Pain mostly makes people angry. Whereas love forces people to be ignorant or oblivious. That inevitably leads to pain.

It's a circle.

It's nothing but a circle of mixed emotions. One way leads to another.

He can't fault those that finds peace in both. Finds peace in being in love, and however they are accustomed to, finds peace in being hurt.

Perhaps, that's one of the reasons people still take risks despite the consequences.

And he can't fault those too, for he, had taken that risk. Two times already.

"A'Xin, you're spacing out."

He blinks, repeatedly. "Hm? Oh, yeah, sorry."

Mu Qing stares at him momentarily. A perplexed frown on his face, as he pours them both another cup of tea. "Something troubling you? Talk to me, baobei."

"It's nothing." Feng Xin smiles, taking the cup the silverette offered. Not before placing an appreciative kiss on his knuckles. "Really, it's nothing. Stop looking at me like that."

The southwestern god rolls his eyes at him. "The last time you were in this strange mood, you were poisoned."

The words of further concern wasn't voiced out. Feng Xin didn't need to hear the words itself, the tone Mu Qing had intentionally slipped out was enough. He leans his head on his palm, elbow resting on the small table. "I know. I'm sorry. I'm not poisoned now, Qing'er. You don't have to worry."