A Blade and an Arrow

Too Early, Too Late

n. im reposting some fics i already posted in ao3 for fqweek. if you have read it already, read it again JAHSHSJAS.

love y'all

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Oh, how Mu Qing could love Feng Xin forever.

The way he lights up his cruel world. His beautiful golden eyes showering rays of sunlight in his dark night. The way he doesn't even know it.

The way Feng Xin shines like the sun in his life. Golden and blazing.

How Feng Xin had always been there. For His Highness, for the people of Xian Le, for the middle court duties, for the prayers from the Flower Crown Martial God to his own as Nan Yang JiangJun of the Southeast.

How Mu Qing miserably loves him.

How aggressive and hateful may Feng Xin toward him be.

The attraction developed upon his first entrance to the palace of Xian Le. His eyes landing on a youthful, handsome boy following behind the crown prince. So eager, so obeying, and so loyal. Always a grin and a frown in his face toward the prince, and yet only a scowl and a frown toward the royal servant.

It grew with their first fight. The feelings grew once the imperial guard had given him even the slightest bit of attention. Yelling at him, cursing at him, annoying him.

And Mu Qing, oh how Mu Qing was hopelessly falling deeper into a hole he had not realized he dug himself.

And it grew as time passes. Grew more as more fights and arguments happens. Grew as years go by and they become middle court officials.

And that was that, Mu Qing realized that it'll grow and grow and grow until his heart could no longer carry so much love for a man he could never have.

And it did.

For eight hundred years.

Eight hundred years of torment from the same man. Eight hundred years of anger. Eight hundred years of resentment. Eight hundred years of animosity and mirth. Eight hundred years of trying to kill each other and not. Eight hundreds, so, so many years wasted out of sheer bitter guilt.

Eight hundred years, and the love did not fade. For eight hundred years, Mu Qing had loved the same man in spite of all the agony and despair. In spite of all the years Feng Xin hated him for it. In spite of all the years Feng Xin only glanced his way to say something so insulting, so painful.

In spite of all the years that Feng Xin returned his love with nothing but loathe. In spite of it all, and Mu Qing still loves.

Yet... yet the recent calamity occured, and Mu Qing realizes then.

He's exhausted.

Shackled by the tiresome love for a general whom have given him everything but the same feelings, Mu Qing is tired.

All the collapsing of the Xian Le, the ruins of heavens, having to declare his good intentions because somehow, no one thinks good of him enough to know he is in no means going to dare and murder Feng Xin.