My Best Friend Eminem, My Love Marshall Mathers

Chapter seventeen

Chapter seventeen

          After we ate, we went back home, Marshall through the whole night seemed down and depressed; I offered him to stay at my apartment. He did not heist. I don't like to stay in my own room sometimes. Marshall ran back to get his PJs and changed at my house. "I'll sleep on the couch" I said, "no, sleep in the bed, I'll sleep on the couch" said Marshall. His face read, 'tired, and drained, emotionally distress'. He licked his lips, trying to figure out how to do the sleeping arrangements. “Natalia, you sleep in the bed” said Marshall. “Shot in the dark, why...don’t we both?” I suggested. “Hm, I don’t know” said Marshall. “We already…made out as it is, I don’t think it’s going to matter” I said. Marshall’s eyes widen, “Those two times were mistakes, Natalia, I’m sorry about that” he said. My heart sunk slightly, as he said those horrible words. “I guess we can both sleep in the bed, one keeps to their side though” he said. I smile slightly. “I warn you, my feet get cold at night” I said. He giggled, “I would warm them.” “You may do so” I replied. He is such a flirt and he knows it.

We had our backs to each other. We didn’t move, not an inch, not even to adjust our bodies. Starring at the same wall, drove me crazy, I was fighting myself not to move. I felt Marshall slightly pull the sheets over to him. He must be asleep, I wish I could see him, how he sleeps. He must look peaceful. I felt the bed deepen a bit; Marshall must be sinking himself into it. He’s probably sinking into a peaceful sleep. I smiled to myself and shut my eyes. Over the few second I heard sniffles and muffles coming from him. I opened my eyes, thinking maybe he talks in his sleep; naturally I tossed over on my side to face his back. His hand was clutch onto the pillow like it was a prized possession. And his chest heaved up and down, as if he was crying. My main concern was only Marshall, not my sleep.

I slowly smoothed his hair back, to see what he does, naturally he didn’t do anything. Maybe he was asleep and this is how he breathes. Still it looked pretty much like he was crying. I sat up in the bed and rubbed his back, “go to sleep, Natalia” he whispered. His voice sound cracked. “Not until you tell me what’s wrong” I said, “Nothing is wrong” said Marshall. I sighed, and cuddled under his arm. It sounded like he was in a lot of pain. I felt the tears rolled down onto the top of my head, and down my nose. I look up at Marshall, and saw his tear covered face; it broke my heart to think if he did this every night. All the fame and glory can never replace pain.

“It’s ok, Marshall” I said softly; almost with no auto. Marshall didn’t move not an inch, he clutch the pillow tighter, until his veins began showing through his wrist. “Marshall, do you want to talk about it?” I ask him. “No” he muttered. I sat up in the bed again and drape my hands around him. His whimpers became slightly louder, “Shh, ok, we don’t have too, just cry it out” I whispered. I pulled the covers over him to keep him warm. “Shh it’s ok” I whispered. I smoothed his hair numerous times, over and over, to calm him down. It was three in the morning I got him to sleep. I didn’t feel tired at all, just heartbroken for someone I hold close to me.

I lied on my side and fell asleep, Marshall draped his arm around me and pulled me close to him, I felt his sweet heartbeat going slowly and his chest moved up and down. I fell asleep a lot faster that way. His sweet breathe was intoxicating. As I fell asleep, I felt a smile come onto my face. I felt so warm and cozy against, Marshall.

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Marshall’s POV:

          I woke up the next morning, my eyes burned and they felt puffy. I remembered then last night I was crying. The sun burned bright through the curtains into the room. I rubbed my one sleepy eye and turned to, Natalia she was still sleeping, like she doesn’t mind the sun shining over into her eyes. I followed the curve of her body with my eyes, with her hands folded against her face and pillow, and a faint smile place on her. She must’ve stayed up all night to take care of me; she didn’t have to do that. I remember waking up next to her, last night, my hand around her waist and her hand grasp into mine. It felt perfect. Almost, natural, I can’t be falling for her. She had me literally at hello, her curve cheek bones and angelic eyes, and that voice that can put you to sleep. She deserves better, not me, I’m nothing. But I want her so bad. None of this was an accident.

          I lightly kiss her temples, maybe she won’t feel them, as I kiss her temples her, she tossed over to my side and opened her eyes slightly. The light gleaming off her green eyes, gave me such an amazing feeling. I gave her a smile, showing some of my affection to her. I would want her to meet, Hailie one day. I don't trust any other women near my child. Maybe she will one day…be the mother of Hailie.....Oh no! Stop thinking that. My smile disappeared and I look away from her. "You had a long night" she said, she caress my face, I pulled away from her. "You didn't need to see that last night" I said coldly. She pulled her hand away in disappointment and rolled to her side.

          I sighed in guilt, "Natalia, I've been...holding things in for so long…understand me and where I come from" I said to her. "I do, I just wish you let go a bit" she whispered. I look at her, she doesn't understand the pain I felt every day, the struggles the broken heart which I feel will never be mend. "It's not that easy, Natalia" I muttered. "I gotta tell you something" I said, what was I going to say? Why did that come out? Her head turned and look at me; those glistening eyes put me in such a trance. If I could I would do it with her right now, take her clothes off, and touch her heaving body. I took myself out of the fantasy. "Natalia..." I sighed, "I really do...feel something for you" I said softly. My heart sunken a bit, what did I just say?

          "You do?" she whispered. "I think so; I just get so angry about it because I think of Kim and...I'm afraid" I said. It was hard to pour my heart to her. It felt weird. "What if I said..." she trailed off. I leaned over to her closer; caressing her face. "I feel for you too, you may think I don't understand you but I do I would not let you in like this if I didn't" she whispered. "I'm afraid" I muttered, "don't be afraid of me" she whispered, almost no audio. She touch my face softly, "I'm though" I muttered. "I know I had a crush on you ever since I was a teenager" she said. I smiled slightly, "I just wish you could have me" I said. I wrap her in my arms and began to cradle her, I gently kiss her forehead. "I wish you could have me too" she said.

          It was safe to say that we can't be together and it broke our hearts. The whole day I held her in my arms. Just watching her fall in and out of sleep. How did I ever fall for her? How did it happen? Was it the fact she saved me? Was it the lust? I look down at her formed cheeks and her thin lips, they were just perfect. Her hair falling freely around her shoulders. Perfect. Her laugh, her voice, her smile! It just drove me crazy inside. She makes you want to smile, and I have, I gently nuzzled my head against her forehead. I thought how my whole life being with her.