My Best Friend Eminem, My Love Marshall Mathers

Chapter forty

This chapter was probably the saddest one because it shows how much Natalia misses home. There is no place like home EVER!

Chapter forty

            After the hour long bath, I changed into my PJs. I wore my baggy college sweats with my college year on one leg, “2012” and my nickname, “Polish Princess” on the other. I felt like I was home wearing those. I wanted to be home, I was missing out on a lot of stuff to do with Desmond. I felt a heavy feeling of guilt take over me as I thought of the planned vacation we made over a year ago. Marshall walked out of the bathroom with his head down, as if he was embarrassed. He lifted his head up and gave me a very familiar look, I know that look. It was regret and guilt. He didn’t have to say anything his expression said it all. I cooled my hateful feelings and forced a fake smile on my face. I began pulling my hair up into a pony tail as he walked out the bedroom door.

            I sighed and thanked God he was out before I made a snappy remark, “Natalia, you have mail” he shouted up the stairs. Who would’ve sent me mail? No one knows the address. I rushed down stairs and saw it was a bag marked from Desmond. I smiled and realized it could be my cap and gown. I opened it up and it was my cap and gown with my honors garment. I could hardly wait to try it on. Marshall encouraged me to try it on. It took me awhile to fit the cap the way I wanted and to put my sashes on the proper way, but eventually I nailed it! “You look amazing!” said Marshall, I smiled unconditionally. “I’m proud of you” he added with a soft smile.

            His hand felt around the bag, “Talia, you have more in here” said Marshall. He pulled out a video tape, “I haven’t seen these in years” he exclaimed. I smiled, it was marked, “Videos to Natalia” and with a red heart. I removed my cap and gown and sashes and put in the video. “What time is it?” asked Marshall, “Probably almost mid-evening” I suggested. “I’m dying to see this video!” said Marshall. I turned around with the remote in my hand, “You are?” I asked. “Yeah, I want to see what your life is like through this” said Marshall. I smiled at the thought he wanted to know more about my life.

            The video started with Desmond, he is chunky, but he can pack a hell of a punch. Desmond is my best friend since pre-k and we were like glue ever since. Desmond is also very protective of me! “Natalia, my Polish Princess!” he exclaimed he had his Lakers cap on and his black leather jacket. I smiled knowing he always called me that, “We miss you girl! Graduation is coming soon! We made it!” He exclaimed, “Here is a bunch of videos from us to you, to show you we are thinking about you and hope the best for you out there! Stay sweet sugar!” he said.

                The next letter came from Naomi, She was an old fashion Spanish girl who I meet my freshmen year of high school and dated Desmond for a long time. She always dressed somewhat like Snooki though! “Hola! My Polish chicka! Coma Estas? When you coming back? Desmond and Nathan are driving me crazy! I miss you my love! You are always in my prayers at night and mamas too! Kisses!” She said loudly. I had tears running down my face from the warming love.

            The last was Nathan who was Polish like me, “Natalia! They are driving me crazy!” He said seriously. “Little by little they are making lose my mind!” he said. His humor was making me laugh. “But yeah seriously I’m wishing the best for you! You always wanted to meet Eminem now you have your dream come true!” he said. He smiled pleasantly at me, “Miłość od mojej matki i mojego taty, love from my mother and father, Polska krew dla życia, Polish blood for life, girl!”The video went on to the photos takened from 2011 until now.

            The video brought slight tears to my eyes, it made me more homesick, I felt lost and the feeling of control was also gone. I kneeled closer to the screen to be closer to Desmond’s face. ‘’Do you miss them?” asked Marshall softly. I wiped my tears and turned my head over my shoulders, ‘’A little” I mumbled. It sounded like a dumb question to ask, but I keep my emotionals in tact. It’s how I was raiser.

            Marshall got on the floor with me and craddled me in his arms. I leaned on his shoulder, ‘’Why are you so closed with your emotions?” he asked. I didn’t answer, I guess he understood because he placed a kiss on my cheek, ‘’Don’t become like me” he whispered gently. ‘’I know you miss them” he whispered again. He looked at the screen and saw me jumping into a pool and popping up.

Marshall’s POV:

I cannot keep you, you deserve to be with someone who loves you as much as I do. My time is up, and I let her slip through my hands. I could kick the fuck out of myself now! You don’t need this life and I’m so sorry I dragged you into this mess that day. I should’ve went up to you that day in the coffee shop like a grown fucking man! I wasn’t afraid of you, I was afraid of my feelings for you. I was afraid I would be hurt again, but I was the one who was hurting you.

Tears strolled down my face as I held her in my arms, it was like I killed her, she laid so lifeless in my arms. Everything from L.A. to Detroit was killing her. She needed to be with her friends. I looked up at the screen and saw her and Will, ‘’Will you always love me?” she asked Will. He chuckled, ‘’I will always love you” he said happliy as he kissed her. I felt like a loser holding someone in my arms who don’t belong to me. Even though I don’t like Will, she seems better off with him. ‘’Marshall?” she mumbled, I cleared my throat, ‘’Yeah baby?” I whispered. ‘’I feel so sleepy” she said softly. ‘’Go lay on the couch honey” I said while removing some hair away from her face.

She crawled onto the couch and snuggled up to my jacket. She loves me, she loves only Marshall. I love her, but I’m afraid too. What am I going to do? She is the best thing that ever happen to me. I walked upstairs silently feeling like a loser and heartbroken. I got under my covers and cried myself to sleep, like a loser.

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            During the night, even though my mind refused to sleep, my body was sleeping. I saw a light through the crack of the door get wider. Then felt someone get under the covers and put their arm around me. I felt them place a kiss on my cheek, and gently say, ‘’Even though I miss my home, if I ever do go home, you’ll be the first face I’ll see when I go into my room” I knew right way it was Natalia. I smiled gently, knowing what she meant, and grasp my hand slowly around hers. I turned over slowly and wrapped my arms around her, so she could be close to my body. For now I can call her my own girl, tonight she is only mine, and I’m hers. I’ll always be hers.