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2.8

     [Li Xiaohua is a joke!]

     "Think about what Seungkwan would want." Joshua told me while we entered the grocery store. "Like instant noodles?" I pondered. Joshua scoffed. "Proper foods, Xiaohua." Maybe we should just get some take-out. I'm terrible at cooking. Why am I so bad at household chores? Plus, I loved that sweet and sour chicken Seonghee treated me to. We split up, searched the grocery store for ingredients. I pulled out my phone and searched up some traditional Korean foods since all I know is ramyeon and tteokbokki. "Bulgogi? Looks good." I was caught in my thoughts, excited to eat proper food again. (I've been living off of ramyeon for these past few days.) Walking through the aisles, I picked up a few ingredients. "WA! I haven't had Yakult in years!!" I shouted sarcastically, grabbing 3 packs. I'm sure everyone will like them. I mean, who doesn't??

     My phone began ringing as I stood in line to pay.

     "Hello?" I answered.

"Xiaohua! Hi. I've already paid my part. I'll wait for you outside."

     "Alright."

     "Here's your receipt." The cashier said while handing me the long piece of paper. I walked out in search of Joshua. Huh? Where is this guy?? Just then, a swift motion passed by me, giving me light shivers. Oh god, the impulsive thoughts had returned. The scene flooded my head;

     A tall figure comes running toward me, grabbing my shirt and dragging me away. I wake up in an unfamiliar room, my hands are tied. I helplessly cry like a joke while the figure enters the room with a few others.

     A car honked in the distance, bringing me back from my imagination. Why does that keep happening?? "Xiaohua!! Hurry up, it's raining!" Joshua yelled from the car. Gosh, why do I keep having these weird thoughts? I shook my head lightly, running toward the car and getting in. "What did you buy?" Joshua asked, his eyes stuck to the road. "I got ingredients to make Bulgogi and I got some Yakult." Joshua lifted an eyebrow. "What's Yakult?" He questioned. I pulled out one of the packs and showed it to him at a stop light. "They're so tiny!" He laughed off to himself. I chuckled a bit, then looked at the package. "That's what makes it fun."

——

     D-Day! It was eleven-fifty something at night, Seungkwan was doing a Vlive as expected. Hoshi and Dokyeom kept watch, distracting Seungkwan from time to time. "Add more balloons here!" Minghao yelled. "Have you set up the tables yet?" Seungcheol asked. It was chaotic. I tippy toed to try and hang up some decorations when someone else took them and hung them. "What a way to tell me I'm short." I mumbled to myself. "Hm?" Minghao questioned, acting as if he didn't hear me. I giggled a bit and shook my head while he wrapped his arms around me. "Take a break, Xiaohua. You've been working really hard." He insisted, pushing me to the couch and sitting me down. I scoffed and pulled out my phone to watch Seungkwan's live, checking the time every few minutes.

     "IT'S DONE!!!" Hoshi screamed while putting down his phone and helping put up the last of the decorations. We all hustled to finish it up, Seungkwan should be here any second now. "LIGHTS OFF! LIGHTS OFF!" Mingyu yelled. I hid in a corner with Minghao, waiting for Seungkwan to walk in.

     "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUU~" We sang in unison as Seungkwan walked into the room, hands over his mouth. "Guys~" Seungkwan called, "I can't believe it..." We all laughed while welcoming him in. "I can finally eat! I've been waiting for this~" Seonghee jumped ecstatically while running to the bulgogi that Joshua helped me make. "Waa~ Xiaohua! This is good!" I chuckled a bit, sipping on some Yakult. "JUN! GET ME FOOD PLEASE~" I shouted, lazy to get my own. "Okay, Boss!" I laughed to myself while laying down on the couch.

——

     Her smile, her laugh. They all remind me of Meiling. The way she teases them, reminds me of Meiling. Her unstoppable energy reminds me of Meiling. I miss Meiling.

——

     Joshua sat next to me while we conversed. "Hey, Xiaohua, what's the meaning of your name?" He asked me while munching on his food. What am I supposed to say to this...? I shifted in my seat a bit while thinking. I mean, it's not like I have to say both meanings, right? I tried to avoid the question by asking him why he was curious. "Oh, well most names have a meaning, so I just assumed yours had one too." He looked back to his food while looking a bit guilty. Just tell him, Xiaohua! It's not like it's supposed to be a secret or anything. "Well, it means..." I paused for a second, "It means little flower." I heard him chuckle a bit. "I guess that's why you're so short." I pouted, looking away from him. I'm not short! (168 cm is pretty short, you dummy...)

     "Doesn't it also mean joke?"

     My head turned back, looking for the voice that blurted that out. It was Minghao. I let out a nervous laugh, nodding my head. "Ye-yeah, it also means that too.." A few chuckles followed, but the air was suffocating me. I felt like I had eaten a plate of rotten eggs. Haha, you are a joke, Li Xiaohua! The little voice in my head teased. There it goes again. I gulped, turning back to my food. My appetite has died out.

     "Haha, I'm not hungry anymore." I said.

"I'll just go throw out my food." I said.

     "Yeah, I'm fine!" I said.

     Lies pouring out one by one. Why do I feel a bit angry towards Minghao? It's not like it was his fault, he didn't even know! I walked near the corner and sat there while plugging in my earbuds and listening to some music, pulling and twisting my hair again. Hopefully that will make this terrible feeling go away.

a/n

for anything, the ending is worse than you think. it might even make people sad. god i hate myself for this part idekkkk but if i scratch this n rewrite the whole thing, i can't even imagine how the ending is going to be ???

also i heard if you press the vote button you get a free cookie~ 🍪 (pls vote)