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4.9

[Smartass]

I stood in my apartment, pacing back and forth in my living room. My phone sat flat on the table, with one certain someone on speed dial. Just then, a tear finally fell down.

"Okay, Xiaohua. You can do this." I wiped off the single tear, and finally pressed the call icon.

A few seconds of ringing and silence, before his voice finally responded. I missed his voice so much.

"Hello?" He questioned in a quiet tone. I ran to my phone at the sound of his calm voice.

"Hello? Jun!" I exclaimed, my voice breaking a little. He finally answered after I left about a million messages that he didn't respond to.

"Xiaohua?"

And then, a sob was let out.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine, how are you?" I assured him while wiping my tears with my sleeve.

"I- I'm good. Why are you calling me? I'm kind of busy."

I left a few seconds of silence before finally telling him.

"We," A silent sob released. "We need to break up."

He didn't respond. Silence came back to me from the other side of the phone.

"It's- It's not you. I just feel like I'm not enough, and that all of that's been happening right now- It's too much." I mumbled something under my breath. "And- I know that you want this too."

"Xiaohua!" His yell startled me. "Are you just going to keep running from your mistakes? By breaking up with me, will you finally feel free? Like there's nothing pressuring you anymore? Have you ever considered how I feel? Why don't we just discuss this together?"

Tears flowed down my cheeks.

"I did, Junhui. I knew that you were going to say this. But you know that with the situation, I'm risking both of our reputations. I don't want to make you suffer like that." I tried to keep a steady voice.

I heard him inhale sharply. "Did you even.. Love me?"

I think I choked on my own spit. "What do you mean? Of course I did! And I still do!"

"Then why are you doing this, Xiaohua? We can work it out!"

I remained quiet for the rest of the call before he hung up. Truth is, I'm not actually breaking up with him for that reason. I'm breaking up with him because I know that's what Liang Wei wants. Maybe, if I play along with her, she'll finally put this to a stop.

——

Wrong. The media has been more and more hungry for answers the past few days. After scrolling through twitter for a while, I decided to call the person that I've been questioning the most.

"Xiaohua? Are you okay? I've been seeing you all over the media!"

"Yeah, Shancai." I sniffled. "But, I have a question to ask you.."

"Aish, Xiaohua. You shouldn't be crying right now. Let's work it out together. Tell me, what's up?"

She's so comforting. I wonder why I suspect her anyway.

"Were you, Are you... Working with Liang Wei?"

"What?"

I stayed silent for a bit, letting a few more tears fall down.

"Wait, Xiaohua. What's going on with Liang Wei?"

I coughed. It really seems like she doesn't know.

"She's the one behind all of it. The paintings, the rumors. She's made so many things up, I can't even count them."