#2: Strumming the Pain

Strumming 26

I don't know if I should call myself lucky or unlucky. With all the things that's happening in my life, I could say that I'm unlucky... but with him beside me, I could say that I'm still lucky. Kirk stayed at my side and assured me until I'm all calm.

He caressed me softly... and I felt better. I felt secured and safe in his arms. Habang yakap niya ako, pakiramdam ko ayos na lahat. I felt like it was all okay because he was holding me... with the assurance that he's staying. But I can't keep depending on him, right? Kasi kapag ako na lang mag-isa, paano na ako?

"Hey," I snapped back to reality when he called me. "Feeling better now?" he asked, his eyes never left mine.

Marahan akong tumango sa kanya at ngumiti nang bahagya. Bumuntong hininga ako at tinignan ang view sa harap ko. We were now under the huge tree, and I'm all calm down... thanks to him.

"I have something to tell you. How much of your time I can take?" I asked, glancing at him.

"Drink this." he said and gave me his tumbler. He, then, smirked like he's thinking that I asked a silly question. "You can take all of my time, baby. You can take your time, okay?"

"Thank you..." I whispered, but enough for him to hear.

"No, it's thank you. Thank you for deciding to tell me... Pero, Shian, hindi mo naman kailangan sabihin sa 'kin ngayon din kung hindi mo pa kaya. Maghihintay ako hangga't kaya mo ng sabihin sa 'kin." sabi naman niya sa 'kin habang nakangiti.

I sighed. "Kaya ko..."

"Well, then. I'll listen carefully," sabi naman niya. The smile on his face didn't fade. "Shian, I want us to have good communication... I witness some relationships that ended because of bad communication." sabi pa niya sa 'kin.

"Ha?" I asked.

"I don't know what to call what we have right now, but I don't want to lose it. I don't care if you want taking things slow... I don't want to lose what we have now." he said in a soft tone while staring at me softly.

"Ayoko rin..." bulong ko rin naman habang nakatitig sa mga mata niya. Dahan-dahan siyang ngumisi at umiwas ng tingin, napapailing. Nang ibalik niya ang tingin sa 'kin, nakita kong namumula ang tainga niya kaya bahagya akong natawa.

"Okay, what do you want to tell me? Have all my time." sabi niya sa 'kin, nanatili pa rin siyang nakangiti.

I averted my gaze and stared at the view in front of me. At the same time, the wind blew violently, making my hair looks like a mess, but I didn't mind that much. I heaved a sigh, thinking where should I start. I never told anyone my problems.. even Jeshua, she only knew some. Minsan nga ay hindi naman ganoon ka-big deal kaya sinasabi ko sa kanya. But something like this? It's the first time.

"They said life is full of surprises, right? They said... a life without surprises is boring, but aren't surprises supposed to be fun? The surprise life gave me wasn't even a bit fun..." it was painful. "It was a surprise I never expected."