#2: Strumming the Pain

Strumming 43

"Talk... I don't have a lot of free time."

I stared at her flatly, waiting for her to talk. We're in a resto right now, it was just near the venue— it was just a ten minutes drive, I guess. Maisie offered to accompany me, but I assured her that I'll be okay so she let me. We're the only person here, I don't even see waiters. I was confused, and I think she noticed that.

"Nagtataka ka siguro kung bakit walang tao," she said calmly. "Pag-aari ko 'to kaso nalulugi na... kaya ganito. Hindi pa kami nakakabawi..." paliwanag naman niya.

"I'm not here to talk about your business. You said you have something to tell me... Spill it." matigas na sabi ko.

He sighed heavily like she was helpless. I don't know if I'm being a bad daughter right now. I still can't forget what she did before. Her words were tattooed on my mind. Words are indeed powerful than we think. Even a single word can ruin everything... It can ruin someone. That's what their word did to me.

"Anak, alam kong malaki ang kasalanan ko sa 'yo... Alam kong malaki ang naging pagkukulang ko sa 'yo." she said, looking down on her palms.

I just stared at her, not knowing what to do. I don't even know what to say. Nakatingin lang ako sa kanya, naghihintay sa iba pa niyang sasabihin. Hindi ko nga rin alam kung paniniwalaan ko pa siya. She held her head, and sighed heavily.

"Pero, anak, pamilya tayo, 'di ba? Mama mo 'ko... at anak kita. At ang pamilya ay nagtutulungan, 'di ba? Baka pwede namang tulungan mo kami ng mga kapatid mo. Naghihirap kami ngayon, oh... Nalulugi na 'tong negosyo namin. Kailangan naming maka-bangon. Hindi ka ba naaawa sa amin? Maganda ang buhay mo pero kami ay naghihirap." sabi niya sa 'kin.

I stared at her, can't believe my ears. "We haven't see each other for years... Hindi mo ba ako babatiin muna man lang?"

"Ayokong magsayang ng oras, Khaisia. Alam ko ring busy ka kaya hindi na ako magsasayang pa ng oras. Galing na rin naman sa 'yo mismo na wala kang maraming oras kaya didiretso na 'ko sa gusto ko." sagot niya sa 'kin.

I can't believe the words I'm hearing. Hindi pa rin talaga siya nagbabago. Everything is already clear to me, hindi niya ako kinausap para kamustahin... o pag-usapan ang kung ano mang alitan namin noon. She didn't come to see so she could check if I'm okay... Hindi siya nagpakita sa 'kin para sabihing nami-miss niya ako. 

When I stared back at her, the helpless look she had awhile ago is already gone. Naging matapang na ang mukha niya. I don't even know what to say. Hindi ko alam kung ano pa bang totoo sa mga pinapakita niya. I can't help, but to have a lot of question.

"Hindi na 'ko magsasayang ng laway, Khaisia. Pasensya na, binabayaran nga pala ang oras mo... Bigyan mo ako ng pera... Kailangan ko 'yun ngayon," she said in a commanding tone. "Ngayon din sana..."

I scoffed. "Do you think you can just show up and ask for money?"

She snapped at that point. "You should support us! That's what good daughters do! Wala kang utang na loob sa magulang mo!"