Suicidal Screams

Chapter Four

Life hadn’t always been like this. I remembered a time when we were happy. My Dad was alive. He took us out to the arcades or to the beach or the cinema every Saturday. On Friday, we had take-out. I even had a steady girlfriend back then.

Dad was murdered. He had been in the bank at the time and there was a big bank heist. Dad was killed and so were two other people. The other two people had been staff. Dad had only gone to take out some money for a day out. He was killed because he refused to help the thieves. He refused to help them kill the children that had been involved. The children survived because of my dad. Some people said he was a hero. To us, he had been killed and that was our tragedy.

It doesn’t sound real. It sounded so fake that I laughed when I saw Dad’s picture on the news. But it was real. It happened and I was left without a father.

My girlfriend left me too. She got depressed when her mother had been killed too. She was sent to a mental hospital. She broke up with me. The doctors explained that she was paranoid that I was going to get killed too. That I was next. Then she would be next.

I got depressed too. I was prescribed anti-depressants. They didn’t really help. They just made me numb. That’s when the self harming started.

I drag the blade across my wrists now. They’re already fucked up. I have so many scars, so many cuts. No effect at first but soon all my emotions come flooding out. She left me... Dad died... Steve hurts her... Mum is in hospital... It’s my fault... I wish I had never been born...

I wish I was dead.