Suicidal Screams

Chapter Eight

I walked home, thinking. I wished more than anything that I could talk to Brian but I knew it wasn't possible. School couldn't help me with this.

So who now? I couldn't talk to my father for obvious reasons. My mum was part of the problem. So who?

Then it came to me. In fact, the answer was so obvious that I was surprised that I hadn't thought of it sooner.

Friends are meant to be there for each other aren't they?

However I didn't want to tell them all. So who?

Jay may have been through some of the things I was. He might understand. But he might not want to talk about situations so similar to my own. Leon wasn't much of the talking type. So what about Sean?

I got into the house and took the phone off its cradle. The cable was attached now.

The house was empty so I could talk to Sean without anyone else overhearing.

Sean picked up on the fourth ring. A wave of relief washed over me the second I heard his voice.

"Hello?"

"Sean, hi it's Adam."

"Oh Adam. Hey. What's up?" I hesitated. I was scared. Isn't all this stuff that girls only go through? Isn't it only girls who self harm and get depressed? What if he called me a sissy? A girl in disguise? I was starting to back off now. I had my thumb on the end call button when Sean spoke.

"Adam? Don't hang up." I froze, shocked how he seemed to know what I was about to do.

"Okay..." My voice was smaller than I wanted it to be. It trembled with my own fear. Now Sean would definitely call me a baby and a sissy.

"Are you alright?" He sounded authoritative and concerned at the same time.

"I need to tell you something." I confessed.

"I'm coming, okay? Don't do anything risky. Please." I nodded then remembered that Sean couldn't see me.

"Okay."

"Be there in three minutes." Sean hung up. I waited for a second or two before putting the phone back. I then ran up the stairs and got changed out of my school uniform. I dressed in jeans and a blue shirt. By the time I had put on my black and white sneakers, Sean was knocking at the door. I grabbed a spare key off the hook on the wall and scribbled a note by the phone for phone messages. Just so Mum didn't worry if she came in before I did.

I walked out and locked the door behind me. Sean was alone, thankfully. He was dressed in blue ripped jeans and a green camouflage shirt. The sun was setting so the air was still warm. He had one of his hands tucked into one of his front pockets.

"Hey." He smiled at me.

"Thought you would have brought Carla." We started walking down the drive and I followed Sean as he went left.

"Nah... I was home with her when you called so I thought I would leave her with Lola." I nodded and looked down at the floor. I felt awkward now.

"Where are we going?" I asked for something to say.

"McDonalds. You look like you could do with a cheeseburger." I smiled slightly at him. He smiled back.

"Thanks."

"Right. So is this to do with that dude?"

"No. Not really," Sean looked confused at that so I quickly had to correct myself. "It's to do with what I talked about to him." Sean relaxed.

"Oh okay. Well, tell me whenever you're ready."

"Just let me think about how to start..." Sean nodded. We didn't talk for the rest of the journey. When we got to McDonalds, I sat at one of the booths. All three of the booths were empty so no one would over hear. Sean came back with a tray of two double cheeseburgers and medium fries plus two medium cokes.

We ate in silence. I felt greedy, scoffing down the burger and fries but I hadn't realized how hungry I was! Sean ate his burger but pushed his fries towards me. I checked he didn't want them before eating those too. I drank down my coke as well. Once we had finished, Sean paid for two hot chocolates. We cupped them in our hands, facing each other.

"You ready?" I nodded. I told him everything. Even the bits about the abuse and self harm. At last, I felt better.