this chapter includes mention of overdose. it isn't shown or described, but it is mentioned. this chapter also contains a depiction of a panic attack. there's a summary of the important things that happen in this chapter at the end for those who would prefer not to read <3
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
It had rained the night before, and the grass was still damp. Luckily, Deena had brought a blanket.
The five of them, Deena, Simon, Kate, Maddie and Deena's brother Josh, were out in Deena's backyard, a green blanket underneath them while they ate lunch. There was only a week left until school started again, and Sam had officially moved to Sunnyvale.
None of them had spoken to Sam since her fight with Maddie. Maddie had worried she'd been too harsh, but Kate was seething. Sam knew how hard they worked, how Kate was on the shortlist for valedictorian, how Maddie looked after her siblings most of the time, and she worked four days a week.
Simon was more disappointed than mad. He'd thought Sam's comment was out of line, but Sam was also his best friend. Sure, the other girls meant a lot to him, but Sam and him had always gotten on the best.
Deena hadn't said much over the afternoon. Josh was pulling up the grass, eyes on his hands except for the occasional glance at Kate. Kate had her legs crossed, sitting up as she tipped a handful of yellow pills into her hand before pouring them back into the container. They had their box with them with the intention of sorting orders, but they'd spent the day lazing around, chatting airily to one another.
Maddie had her head in Simon's lap, using one hand to flip through a book she'd borrowed off Deena, the other hand occasionally putting a chip in her mouth. They had a pile of snacks they'd been working their way their way steadily through over the last few hours.
Kate was ranting about this girl she'd hit on at the video store who had blown her off when Deena spoke up. "I broke up with Sam yesterday,"
Kate fell silent and Maddie let the book fall onto her chest. Deena was laying on her back, one leg bent and the other extended in front of her. "Are you... okay?"
"Yeah, I'm just great," Deena rolled her eyes, her words dripping with sarcasm.
"I think she meant, do you want to talk about it?" Maddie asked, sitting up and closing the book.
"What's there to talk about?" Deena shrugged. Deena was definitely... grumpier than the rest of them on average, but she was usually more chill than this. Of course, she had just broken up with her girlfriend. "Being gay's bad. Shadyside is bad. Being gay in Shadyside was just too much for her to handle,"
"Deena," Simon spoke up softly. "I know it sucks. It does. It's shit. But Sam's not the only girl in the world,"
"Yeah but she's the only lesbian in Shadyside," Deena said angrily, sitting up. "And now she's gone, and she didn't just leave she..." her voice broke. She closed her eyes tightly, breathing in deeply. Deena Johnson does not cry. "She not only left me to be the only one left, but she made sure I knew that. She made sure I knew that I was different, and everyone else was normal," she stood up, dusted her jeans off, and went up the hill to her house, wrapping her arms around herself.
