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When he was fifteen, Andrew broke his arm. Maddie wasn't there when it happened, but she was there when he was in hospital. She sat by his bedside, a six-year-old Sydney asleep on the chair beside her, and a newborn Jack in his stroller, Maddie pushing him gently back and forth to get him to sleep. Bonnie and Scott were both at work.
It was late, later than most patients would be allowed to stay, but the nurses had seen that the three younger kids were safest there, in a hospital room, with their brother, so they let them stay. Maddie's head was lolling, the fourteen year-old-fighting sleep, trying to stay awake for her siblings. Andrew was hurt, he shouldn't have to be the strong one. She needed to stay awake.
Eventually, the stroller slowed to a stop, Maddie's head falling gently against the wall as she let out a breath, Andrew watching as she drifted off. His little sister was exhausted, he could tell. She'd been working as many shifts as the local grocery store would let her, trying to keep the house running as best as she could while her parents and older siblings were working. He'd caught her passed out on top of a textbook or at their family desktop trying to write a paper.
He was the oldest. He should be the one doing those things. She shouldn't be trying to stay awake in a hospital at past midnight on a Thursday, knowing she needed to look after her siblings. It was his fault for getting hurt.
Maddie was growing up too quickly, and not in a "oh wow, it seems like just yesterday she was only four, and now he's fourteen" way. She was growing up in a way that made him feel like the worst older brother in the world. He was supposed to protect her. Keep her safe.
That was his job as her big brother. He needed to keep Maddie safe.
Maddie didn't remember the hospital very well, but she did remember that feeling of helplessness. She was so tired, she wanted to sleep forever. She couldn't help Andrew, he couldn't stay awake, she couldn't do anything.
It was how she felt watching Deena kneel in front of Sam. She was on her hands and knees, blood dripping down the side of her face, cheerleading uniform covered in dirt, hands delving into the red moss underneath her.
Autumn was definitely coming in, the leaves the same colour as the moss on the ground, a cool breeze winding through the trees. Maddie wished she'd brought a hoodie.
Sam was breathing heavily, trying to stay focused on Deena's face. "Did you... see?"
"What?" Deena brushed her hair out of her face. Deena had fucked up. She'd never meant for this to happen, she'd only wanted the car to leave, to stop following the bus, so she never had to see Sam again.
Kate, Simon and Maddie came crashing through the trees. Simon knelt beside the girls while Kate and Maddie hung back, looking on. "Oh shit,"
"Okay, we should not be down here," Kate looked over her shoulder. Deena didn't even glance back at her, instead telling her friend to shut up so she could help carry Sam, who was in no condition to walk. "We need to leave, like ten minutes ago,"
