A Beast's Heart (english version)

12.

Harrenhal was huge. Bloody huge. And every one of those cursed corridors looked the same! Dark, dusty and littered with numerous red banners and the Lannister crest. A rearing golden lion. I almost preferred the courtyard, even if it too had numerous banners with lions.
When I finally reach Lord Tywin, he will already have died of old age, I thought as I looked for him. But that has something positive - then I won't have to work for him.
I should actually be grateful. I no longer had to spend the whole day in the cold. He had saved me. He'd saved Gendry. But who knew what he was going to do with us now? I remembered the Rains of Castamere. Celebrated by so many, though there was so much cruelty in it.
I hurried through the next dark and cold corridor, past many soldiers who stared at me. I felt their gazes boring into my back. Into my dirty back. I didn't want to be here! It made me so uncomfortable, it disgusted me! I didn't want to know what their thoughts were about, didn't want to imagine what scenarios were playing out in their heads.
The next door opened more easily than the others. Much to my detriment, because I had too much momentum and landed on the floor - Right at Lord Tywin's feet.
"The first thing we're going to work on is your punctuality, understand?" he commented in a gruff voice, "In your absence, I could have fought five wars."
I looked up. He was standing at the window with his back to me, staring into the courtyard. Instead of armour, he now wore a black robe of leather. He held his hands clasped behind his back as he very slightly swayed his body back and forth. Almost like a nervous child hiding the forbidden sweets behind his back. I wonder if he was hiding something too. Everyone had a secret after all!
"Did you hear me?"
He turned to me and I straightened up. His blue eyes fixed on me, registering all my movements and acknowledging them with a vague twinkle. He raised an eyebrow and bent his upper body forward closer to me. He kept his hands behind his back at all times.
"Yes, ser," I replied quickly. His expression was expressionless.
"I am not a ser, girl. I'm a lord."
"Does that make a difference?" it slipped out. I didn't understand these different positions, how could I? I didn't know this life.
For a brief moment, the Lannister stared at me as if I were from another world. Then he took a deep breath and eyed me.
"There is a vast difference between being a knight and being a lord."
"So now I say 'your lordship' or something?", I asked further and he twitched an eyebrow.
"Are you of high birth?" A hint of sarcasm in his growl.
"No."
"Then you say 'my lord' and not 'your lordship'. Actually, it's quite simple and a girl with your mind should learn that quickly."
He turned his back on me again as I eyed him piercingly and frowned.
"What do you know of my mind, my lord?"
"Oh please! You disguise yourself as a boy to travel safely. You deceive my soldiers and have done so seemingly longer than yesterday. You must have sense, do not play the fool!"
An unknown warm feeling of pride spread through my stomach. It felt uncomfortable. I cleared my throat and didn't elaborate on that comment. I had talked too much again.
"What exactly do you want me to do for you now?"
He turned away from the window again, then sat down at the head of the table.
"You will wake me every morning with the sunrise. You will lay out my clothes and then see to my breakfast. You will care for my horse every day and maintain my armour. And whenever I call you or send for you, you will obey and come here immediately. Understood?"
He eyed me insistently. I did not like his presence. Still, I wrestled a nod from myself and tilted my head a little. What if he hadn't been a Lannister? If it was a lord from the Riverlands? Would that have made a difference, would I have felt more comfortable? I didn't know.
"Anything else, Lord Tywin?"
"You have no experience of nobility, can that be?"
He stroked his beard thoughtfully and I nodded again. He nodded understandingly too, whether to me or to himself I could not interpret.
"Go get me some wine and then see about some firewood. I'm cold."
He folded his arms in front of his chest, stroked his upper arms gesturing. I bowed my head, turned and strode towards the door without turning back to the Lannister Lord. I was glad to get away from him. Wine and firewood. A next search to start...