A Beast's Heart (english version)

15.

The old woman led me out of the large kitchen down a staircase into dark vaults. A single torch burned in a small chamber, casting sparse spots of light that fought with the shadows. There, the wash tub and some bales of straw were stacked against the wall.
"You'll need warm water, I suppose," croaked the old maid, and I nodded. She didn't scare me directly, but I felt a little uncomfortable in her presence.
"The little girl from just now and I will get you two buckets full, you'll have to make do with that. Maybe I'll even find a brush you won't use to scrub the flesh off your bones right away."
She eyed me up and down for a moment and sighed softly. "And you could use some new clothes."
I looked down at myself. The shirt and pants, while really not exactly clean, were still very functional.
"And where am I going to get them?"
"The stable boy just died of pneumonia recently. That should suit you."
She turned and booted back upstairs. I should wear a dead man's clothes?! One thing was certain for me - I would take my clothes right away and wash them so that I could put them on again as soon as possible. Just the thought of wearing a corpse's clothes made me feel a little nauseous.
After a while the maid returned, a sullen looking Arya in tow.
"A brush and warm water. Arya, please go and ask Jeanny for the late stable boy's clothes. You'll find her by the potatoes."
"I know," Arya grumbled, setting the bucket down for me and immediately turning away.
With a quiet sigh, I watched her go and nodded politely to the old woman.
"Thank you for your help."
"I'm not doing it for you," she replied emotionlessly, turning away again as well, "But the effects of Lord Tywin's wrath are known to be devastating and I'd like to avoid that."
I looked after her too and then carefully poured the water into the wash tub before undressing. It was an unfamiliar sensation to feel warm water against my skin. I enjoyed it for a moment before I grabbed the brush and started scrubbing the dirt off my body. How long had it been since I had had a proper bath? I couldn't remember.
I closed my eyes and thought. Where was I now? In a cursed ruin in the heart of the Riverlands. Surrounded by my enemies and their leader. A cold, brutal beast. So I was no closer to my goal, on the contrary. I was right in their midst, could feel their eyes on me. Inevitably, I began to wonder if I also had THOSE two soldiers near me. I had never seen their faces under the helmets, but their voices, on the other hand, were still chasing me through my darkest dreams, sneering at me and my pitiful attempts to escape it all.
I felt a sudden pain in my upper right arm and pushed the thoughts aside for a moment. I had pressed the brush forcefully into my flesh in my rising anger. I let off and waited a moment before bending forward to wash my hair.

'What are you cleaning yourself for? The fine lord only wants to be served by clean ones? As if he were so groomed fine himself!
I walked down a long dark corridor, past dozens of golden lions on a red background. All reared up with claws extended and mouths agape. I felt uneasy as I ran on. At the end of the corridor was a door, open a crack. Light from a fireplace crept out of the crack into the hallway, I could make out the corner of a table and a chair. A shadow flitted past and the door was yanked open before I heard a lion roar.
"I'M TALKING TO YOU!!!"

Jerking my head up, I blinked at all the water running into my eyes and gasped.
Arya was standing in the doorway, holding a bundle in her arms.
"Your new clothes and a towel to dry off," she literally threw them at me in front of the laundry tub, "What's your real name?"
I rubbed my eyes and sighed softly.
"Lena."
We looked at each other for a moment before she silently turned back around and left. I shook my head for a moment, then got out of the wash tub, dried off and slipped into my new clothes. They did fit, but the sleeves were a bit too long. I simply turned them inside out and disposed of the dirty water in one of the small gutters on the floor. I wrung out my own clothes and held them in my hand. I hoped to find somewhere to dry them.
Back in the kitchen, I was scrutinised again. I ran my hand through my hair, which was now a little wet and not quite so straw-like, while my gaze wandered searchingly around the room.
The old one was sitting next to a brunette and was preparing the potatoes with her. The brunette had to be Jeanny. Cautiously, I approached both of them - only to be appraised again.
"Well, well, you're not brown after all," the old woman commented dryly, looking at me with her lifeless eyes. Jeanny next to her didn't look any livelier, her face was a little sunken and she was emaciated. Even if that was normal in wartime.
"Can I hang these up somewhere?"
I held up my wet clothes and they both exchanged a quick glance.
"You should have a chamber near the lord if you're already working for him," I now heard Jeanny say for the first time. Her voice was rough and I sensed coldness in it. She sounded jealous. But what was she jealous of? Was she going to put up with Lord Tywin's face all day? I would have loved to swap places with her!
She stood up and turned briefly to the old woman.
"I'll be right back, Margaret."
Margaret nodded and turned her attention to more potatoes while Jeanny led me up another flight of stairs down an even darker corridor. She opened a narrow door and we entered a small chamber.
"The lord has his chamber up there," she explained, pointing out the small window to a pitch-black tower.
"Yes, I was there earlier," I replied, but she ignored me and just kept talking.
"You should hear it from here when he calls you."
Before I could say anything back, she had already left. The maids here seemed to be in a hurry around me. You could more than sense the distrust.
I closed the door and looked around. On one wall hung an extinguished torch, opposite next to the window was a narrow bed. First I spread my clothes out over the windowsill to dry before testing the bed. Once I carefully settled down on it, I felt straw under the patched bedding. I rose again, pulled off the bedding and turned the mattress over. I didn't know who, but someone had already slept here. And that thought was repugnant to me.
I dared to lie down for a moment and stared at the ceiling.
I should actually be grateful, it popped into my head. For years I had dreamed of having a roof over my head and a little room of my own. But I just couldn't forget where I was.
Totally exhausted by the many impressions, I closed my eyes and shortly afterwards slipped into an exceptionally dreamless sleep...