A Beast's Heart (english version)

58.

I had just washed Tywin's robes and hung them up to dry when I suddenly heard a deep voice behind me.
"The queen wants to see you at once!"
I turned to the gold skirt and tilted my head questioningly.
"Did she say why?"
"No. Now come on, she doesn't like to wait!"
She gets that from her father, I thought, and an amused smirk crossed my face before I followed the gold skirt into the castle.
The queen was sitting at a small table when I entered her chambers. In front of her was a half-emptied decanter of wine and a goblet. She looked up at me as I closed the door behind me and indicated a curtsy.
"You wanted to see me, your majesty?"
She really was a beauty, through and through. She is Tywin's daughter, what else did you expect, it came back to me and again I had to smile briefly.
"Most of those I call to me do not smirk," the queen commented in a gentle voice. Gentle and yet with that certain emphatic undertone that could teach one to fear. My smirk disappeared immediately.
"I was in thought, Your Grace. My apologies."
She snorted in amusement.
"I don't blame you. You must be constantly in thought if you spend half the day with my father in his tower."
I paused, but she just kept talking.
"You like watching him work, don't you? Of course, I can see it in your face. I saw it in your face the first time I saw you lying in Pycelle's lab. Though I'm a little surprised, seeing as you're so young."
I swallowed, my gaze dumbly on her. Did she know that I was...?
"What can I do f-for you, my queen?"
My voice trembled. Her gaze was watchful like that of a cat on the hunt. A lioness watching her prey, waiting for the killing blow.
"Do you love him?" she suddenly asked abruptly, and a hot-cold shiver ran down my spine. How did she know? I had never acted conspicuously towards others.
"Do you love my father?"
What was I supposed to do now? Was I supposed to lie? Should I evade and run away? She was Tywin's daughter, she would find me anywhere, I knew that well. I stroked my own arm before nodding curtly, my gaze finding the ground.
"Yes, your majesty."
"So much so that you accepted death for him.... Respect. There must be a lot of courage in you to have been able to make that decision. Courage or stupidity."
"You do a lot of crazy things in love, I've been told," I said carefully as she sipped her cup. I felt very uncomfortable.
"That's true, little one. In love, you do a lot of crazy things.... Especially in the love of family."
She looked straight at me, her emerald eyes suddenly sparkling. I swallowed and tilted my head slightly questioningly.
"What d-do you want to you tell me?"
"Do you really think I'm going to let some little peasant brat sneak into my family?" her voice had now lost any kind of warmth, her face was hard, "Did you honestly think my father would feel anything for you? You must really be incredibly naive to have believed that! My father has only loved one woman in his entire life! Only one!"
She stood up slowly, walking even more slowly towards me. Her dress rustled as it brushed the floor, blood rushing in my ears. My heart beat impossibly fast as I looked somewhat fearfully at the blonde. She was now standing directly in front of me, her gaze boring into mine.
"My mother! You, on the other hand, are nothing of the sort to him! Rather, a ball and chain he had to carry here with him from Harrenhal."
I ducked my head minimally, pain coursing through me. What would follow now?
"W-what are you going to do now, your majesty?"
Suddenly she was gentle again, smiling as mendaciously affectionate as when she began.
"Tonight there will be a horse saddled and waiting for you in the stable. If you are not gone by dawn, I will take you to me again, and then not even the gods can help you. You have bothered my father long enough now, he will no longer need your services. He always preferred to be on his own anyway."
I stared at her for a long time, unable to speak. I was supposed to leave? I should leave Tywin? But surely I couldn't do that!
"You'd better go, I'm sure you have final preparations to make. And stay away from my father!"
She returned to her little table and poured herself more wine. I could already feel the first tears burning in my eyes as I quickly turned away and fled the room. She was Tywin's daughter. She would be true to her word. Fear filled me as I fled to my small chamber and pulled the door shut. Leaving Tywin... How could I? I loved him!
She wants to kill you, Lena, my inner voice cried out. You should leave...