A Beast's Heart (english version)

25.

"Tywin..."
Darkness enveloped me, as I myself once enveloped the dead Targaryen children in red Lannister cloaks, as I heard her voice again and again. Bell-bright and tender, yet coupled with fear. Each call increasingly panicked.
"Joanna? Joanna, where are you?"
I looked around but only ever found pure black. Once I saw blue-grey eyes flashing through the darkness, to Joanna's bloodcurdling shouts a whisper additionally reached my ear.
"Here, my lord..."
I suddenly stumbled and fell to the ground. I quickly looked up and saw Joanna's deathbed. Silently she lay there, even now breathtakingly beautiful. A sleeping angel. I walked slowly towards her, looking down at her sorrowfully. My hand found hers, squeezed it tightly. She was so cold.
"I failed in my duty. I hope you can forgive me."
I stroked her hair gently before I felt the first tear find its way down my cheek.
"Lord Tywin! Lord Tywin, wake up! You're having another nightmare!"...

~~~

He opened his eyes and looked around hastily. I wisely took a step back and let him have his obligatory brief moment of rest.
"Good morning, my lord," I tried gently, but he only grumbled irritably.
"Morning."
He sat upright while I was already pouring the warm water into his wash tub of my own accord and putting out a fresh new robe.
"Is the table in my workroom free?"
"Yes, my lord."
Slowly he returned to reality.
"See to my breakfast and if you should finish before me, wait at the table."
I nodded and ran out of the tower to the kitchen. My cheek still hurt, but the dizziness had lessened.
"Good morning," Margaret croaked, "How are you feeling?"
"Much better, thanks again."
I headed for the cooking area and prepared a couple of slices of ham.
"Better let the cooks do that."
"Please, Margaret. My mother had shown me once when I was quite young. For once in my life I'd like to try my hand at it."
The first maids sleepily entered the kitchen and the old woman nodded.
"Fine by me."
So I slid the ham into the small pan and its loud sizzle filled the silence. Margaret had come to stand behind me while I broiled the meat.
"You're doing a bloody good job of it, I'll give you that. There, now flip it over.... Very good!"
I grew hot under the praise and nodded gratefully. Looking up, I recognised Jeanny, who eyed me wickedly before turning her back on me and going about her business. I put the ham on a plate with some bread and took this to Tywin with a jug of diluted wine. He was already sitting in his chair at the table, leafing through a book.
"Sit down."
With a wave of his hand, he pointed to the chair on his right and I hesitantly took a seat. In the open book I now saw a piece of paper with signs lined up one below the other.
"You do your work very well, you are punctual and obey your word. I have more work for you, but you must be able to read."
He wanted to teach me to read? Perplexed, I stared at him, looking for signs of scorn in his face. However, his features were petrified. He really meant it!
"You...you want to teach me to read, my lord?"
"No, I just have too much free time and write letters on paper out of boredom," he replied sarcastically and winked, "With your mind, I assume it won't take you long. And before you even think of refusing - it's an order!"
"Why me? Why not someone who can already read?"
I was honestly confused about this. He was such a practical person after all and preferred to use what was already available!
"You've seen that even experienced readers make mistakes. Besides, you still have a lot of free time in the day, I noticed."
He spoke completely calmly in a cool tone. For him it was not a good deed, no intention to please me. He only saw his profit in it, I could see it in his eyes. He always had that look when anything useful came to his ears.
He put the note down for me.
"Look, these are the individual letters. Look at the note, you won't find them in my face!"
I couldn't take my eyes off him, trying to analyse his intentions. I wanted to understand why he was teaching me this now, his answer did not satisfy me.
His expression was becoming increasingly irritated, so I obeyed and lowered my gaze to the paper. There were two letters in each row, the first larger than the other. Tywin, meanwhile, began his breakfast.
"Did anyone else prepare the ham today?"
"Yes, I did, my lord."
He looked at me briefly with a twinkle in his eye and nodded curtly.
"Good, then you get one more task. I demand that the ham be cooked only by you from now on. Understood?"
I nodded and lowered my gaze back to the paper in front of me.
"These are each one and the same letter, only written once in upper case and once in lower case," Tywin explained, tapping the rows, "This one is an A, this one is a B, that one is called a C..."