AT YOUR SERVICE

17. Honesty

A/N: short chapter today, sorry guys lol enjoy regardless and leave me votes and comments. I love to hear your thoughts. :) Happy reading my babies 💛

"So what are you going to do now?" Jungkook asks over lunch. We ended up falling asleep again after everything this morning and woke up way past noon. I made us lunch while he sat and read over some emails but only after I insisted I didn't need help.

"I'm not sure. I said I'd call him. I'm honestly not sure what to say though. I basically told him I was ok with being his fuck buddy and that I just wanted him to be honest with me about everything but then the second he starts telling me the truth, I shut him out and ran away. Literally." I sigh, putting my chopsticks down.

"Maybe it's time you were honest with yourself, too." He says.

"What do you mean? I was. I told him how I felt. I told him I have feelings for him."

"I mean about why this upsets you so much. You say you don't want a relationship but you do. Otherwise him not wanting one wouldn't be an issue. Him not wanting to commit and be exclusive wouldn't bother you."

"But I'm not ready for that kind of commitment."

"Aren't you? Or are you using that as an excuse? Because he's said he's not either yet you keep pushing it on him and when he stands his ground, you run away. I just think you're not the kind of person that would rather have a fling. I think you're the kind of person that prefers a committed relationship and that's what's driving you mad, because he's not. He'd rather have the flings and the one night stands than to commit. And you're both extremely stubborn so getting either of you to admit it or change your minds is going to be damn near impossible."

"Maybe you're right." I sigh after I think about what he's said for a while.

"So now what?"

"I don't know. But I can start with talking to him and see where that goes, I guess."

"No matter what happens, I'll still be here. I meant what I said. I want you and I'll be here when you decide you're ready to let me love you. Because I'm not afraid to admit my feelings for you and I'm not gonna run away." He gets up from the table and comes over by me. He takes my face in his hands and kisses me, slowly but fiercely. He slides his tongue against mine and nibbles on my lip before he parts from me, leaving me completely breathless. "Maybe wear a scarf or something? I got carried away. I'm sorry." He says before he kisses the hickey he left on my neck.

"Maybe if I'm lucky he'll think he did it. I'll cover up."

"Sorry." He smirks.

"No you're not." I roll my eyes.

"No, I'm not." He chuckles. "I'll clean up. You go get ready."

"Kookie, can I ask you something?"

"Anything, baby."

"Why are you doing this? Why are you being so supportive?"

"I'm not. I just know he's gonna mess up so bad that you won't be able to keep turning a blind eye. But I also know that you have genuine feelings for him. So until that day comes, I'll be here, watching from the sidelines and waiting for you to choose me." He says with a sad smile.

"I'm sorry for hurting you, Kookie. You know I don't meant to."

"I know, baby. I know. You can't help who you love. I'm just sorry I can't protect you from the pain. But I'll be here to make it better when it hurts too much." He gives me another kiss and starts to pick up the dishes so he can clean up.