AT YOUR SERVICE

38. Backtracking 💦🔞

"Why are you avoiding me again?" asks Jimin when he comes into wardrobe to get ready for the show.

"I'm not." Lies. I am. Sort of. He's hellbent on getting me to come to his room tonight but I don't want to go back on what I said. If I go, we both know what's going to happen. It's the only reason he wants me there. As much as I miss him, I can't go back on what I said. I want to but I don't want to.

"You're lying." he says. I should know better than to lie to him. He sees right through me.

"I'm not though." I say, avoiding all eye contact with him and pretending like I'm busy on my phone.

"You are. Every time you lie, you look away, avoid eye contact and you pretend like you're doing something important to ignore the other person. You're doing it now." he points out. I sigh and put my phone away.

"I'm not a stylist, Jimin. I have another very important job, too and I can't neglect it because I'm covering for someone right now. Sorry if you feel like I'm ignoring you but I have a huge stack of responsibilities and–."

"Ok, ok. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound accusatory." he finally says, softening his tone. "I just don't like feeling like you're mad at me or avoiding me."

"I'm not mad and I'm not avoiding you. But can we both agree that all this back and forth is crazy? We need to just put it to rest already." I sigh again. This whole thing has me exhausted.

"So then come over and we'll figure things out." he pleads with his puppy dog eyes.

"Jimin, we did. The other night. I told you that I can't be with you like that. Why can't you just accept it?" I say in defeat. Talking to him was like talking to a brick wall.

"Because I can't accept the fact that you're willing to walk away from us without even trying. I know you want me as much as I want you so why can't we just try?"

"I already told you. I don't like the way you react when I talk to other people. I don't like how crazy jealous you get when I'm having a simple conversation with another man. I've never given you a reason to doubt my feelings for you and yet, your first instinct is to get defensive and accuse me of having feelings for them. It's not fair and it's not something I want to deal with."

"So let me show you that I can change. Let me show you I can do right by you. Please." the sight of his pleading face is heartbreaking. It almost makes me want to give in. Almost.

"Change for how long? A week? A month? A year? Then you go back to being jealous, possessive Jimin?" I ask.

"That's not going to happen, baby."

"I'm not willing to find out. I'm sorry. Can we please drop this? I don't want anyone overhearing our conversation." I say as I look around and see other people starting to fill the room.

"Right, I forgot. I'm your dirty little secret." he smirks but it's laced with anger.

"That's rich coming from you." I scoff and say before I can stop myself.

He rolls his eyes at me before he goes off to the makeup chair again, shaking his head at me as he walks away. Sophia starts to work on him and I can see his expression instantly changes when she starts talking. He's smiling and joking with her, flirty Jimin is back in the blink of an eye as if nothing ever happened. Whether he's doing it on purpose or just being himself, I can't quite tell. But this just reinforces the fact that I made the right choice.

I roll my eyes and get to work making sure his outfits are good to go and pull out the first change of clothes he'll be in. I try to drown Jimin out but I can't ignore Sophia's obnoxious high pitched giggles. It's sickening.