AT YOUR SERVICE

43. Aftermath

Y/N's POV

I open my eyes and groan at the intense headache. My arms shot up to cradle my head and when I turned to the side, I felt a hard body next to me. He takes me in his arms and kisses the top of my head.

"Are you ok?" He asks.

"Headache." Is all I can say. He holds me a little closer and I snuggle into him. "Thank you for staying with me last night. You didn't have to."

"I wanted to. Besides, I wasn't gonna leave you after everything. I told you, I'm here for you. I meant it." He says as he hugs a little tighter. "Come on, go wash up, it'll make you feel a little better. We can have breakfast before I have to go."

"Ok." I say as I slowly get up and out of bed. I have to steady myself as the room starts spinning when I get up and Namjoon holds me to prevent me stumbling over.

"Are you ok? Do you need help?" He asks with a worried tone.

"I'm ok. I often feel dizzy when I have a migraine. It's no big deal, I'm used to it." I say as I give him a small smile. I walk to the bathroom and before I close the door, he stops me.

"Don't lock it. Just in case." He says. I nod and head inside.

I start the shower and look at myself in the mirror as I get undressed. My face is puffy, my eyes are red, swollen and bloodshot and my lips are extremely dry from dehydration. I have no idea how I'm gonna manage to look presentable enough to go to work tomorrow. Hopefully things change for the better. The last thing I want is to face Jimin but even more than that, the members. I know all of this has caused them great grief, too and I hate to be the cause of it all. I don't know how I'll ever be able to look them all in the eye again.

Part of me feels like running away. I know it's cowardly but I don't have it in me to see them and pretend like nothing happened. Especially Jimin. Not after I told him I love him and then left him for good. I shouldn't feel guilty but I do. The way he was crying tugged at my heartstrings and I just hated that I was the reason he felt that way.

"No. You can't feel this way anymore. He doesn't care if you hurt. He doesn't care if he makes cry so stop being fucking dumb and stop thinking about him. His actions are the reason we're here right now. He's not here making you feel better so why should you be worried about how he's feeling and coping?" I think to myself as I take a deep breath and I shake all the negative thoughts from my mind. I get in the shower and let the hot water run over me, soothing my aching head and my tired body.

As I let myself get lost in the fog, I think about everything and all my options. Enough is enough and I need to make a change to get out of this cycle with Jimin. We all know if we continue to be around each other, it'll never end. He won't let it. I can't distance myself from him if I have to keep working with him. Even asking to be transferred to someone else doesn't seem like a good enough option. As long as I'm in the vicinity, he'll find a way to come around.

I decided there's only one thing I can do to fix this mess I've created. I don't like it and neither will a lot of people but I think it's for the best. I just hope I'm doing the right thing because I really don't see another option.

When I come out of the shower, Namjoon already has breakfast served on the table for us and a nice hot cup of coffee waiting for me. He hands it to me as I sit at the table.

"Thank you." I say.

"I may not be able to cook but I can order take out. Eat, you need your strength." He says as he hands me a pair of chopsticks. I nod and take some food. I don't have much of an appetite but he's right, I have to eat otherwise I'll feel worse later.