25. Indiscretion 💦🔞

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After Jungkook tells everyone, we go back out to the dining room to eat and socialize with the rest of the staff. I don't really want to be around everyone again but I decide to power through it so as to not bring attention to myself. Something about the way Jimin was looking at me earlier flipped a switch in me. I'm suddenly self-conscious and nervous again to be around him. I drink a little over three bottles of Soju alone and although alcohol usually makes me happy, bubbly and care free, all it did this time was amplify everything I'm already feeling. I'm on the verge of throwing up from all the nerves. Maybe it's  just the liquor or both, who knows, but I need to get some air. I feel like I'm suffocating.

I scan the room and don't see Jimin anywhere. Maybe he left, at least, that's what I'm hoping for. I excuse myself from the group that I'm only half socializing with and make a beeline for the back door. I can't be in here anymore, I need the cool air to calm me down. As soon as I open the door and the breeze hits me, my head starts spinning and I can feel just how drunk I really am. I manage to walk a little ways away from the door down the side of the building where someone else is sitting on the ground. It's so dark on this side of the restaurant that I have a hard time seeing who it is. It looks like they're smoking though and as soon as that thought crosses my mind, I smell the burning weed from the blunt they appear to be taking a drag of.

I decide I can't quite walk anymore and rest my back against the cold bricks and sink to the ground. Once I'm safely sitting down and not in danger of stumbling over and falling face first, I take my jacket off. Soju always makes me so hot and the cool night breeze feels so good over my clammy skin. I lean my head back against the wall and look up at the sky for a minute, trying to relax my body. You can't see many stars but the moon is looking extra big and bright tonight. It's casting such a beautiful glow onto everything around me. I take a deep breath and take everything in, the darkness, the moon, the cool air. I slightly turn my head to my right and see the person who was standing further down, a man, now stumbling over to me. I don't even move, I just sit there.

He comes and sits by me and once he's finally sitting right next to me, I turn to face him and realize its Jimin. He looks about as drunk as I am but his eyes are half opened, a lazy looking smile on his face as he passes the blunt.

"Want a hit?" He asks.

"You shouldn't be smoking. You know how much trouble you'll get in if you get caught." I say but take it nonetheless and take a hit. I hold it in my lungs for a while, letting the smoke suffocate me from the inside before I let it out.

"Who's gonna tell on me?" He smirks as he takes it back and takes a hit of his own.

"I didn't know you smoked." I say. The nervousness from earlier is starting to dissipate. I don't know why I was so scared to be around him. It doesn't make sense now. It's Jimin. Why would I be scared of Jimin?

"I don't normally. But tonight...tonight was a special occasion." He says with a sad smile.

"What occasion?" I ask as I absentmindedly rest my head on his shoulder.

"There's a girl I really like. But I fucked up. And now she's with someone else and I can't even get her to talk to me. She must really hate me." He dryly chuckles.

"I don't think she hates you." I say as I take his blunt away and take another hit before I put it out. He pulls out another one and lights in, smoking about half and then passing it.

"Why do you say that?" He finally asks as he rests his head on mine. I think for a minute, filling my lungs with the bitter smoke to give myself some time before answering.

"Because. She doesn't hate you. I think she misses you." Must be the weed talking now.

"Then why won't she talk to me?" He quietly asks. I carefully think over my next words. I almost don't say anything but decide to anyway. Whats the worst that can happen?

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