"Never go near the waters, that's what my mom always says"
Stay with your family, boys are trouble, remember the stories, and never go to the ancient, love waters
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"Yes, Ms. Mina." All the girls said as they agreed to not treat Jasmine any different even though I was still a little mad at Jasmine, she was absolute glowing, pregnant with my niece or nephew growing inside her. I know this is a different feeling and maturity, and she is becoming a grown woman. I want to know what that feels like having a baby growing inside you, knowing damn well I'm not ready for a body change like that she still doesn't know what birth feels like and I heard it hurts like hell especially when you have no one and guilt and shame creeps up on you.
"I'm so happy, you're pregnant, what do you think the sex is?" Keisha said
"I don't know." Jasmine said as Mina looked at all of us, she seemed really happy for Jasmine.
"I want a baby." Some girl said in the classroom as all the girls started conversating about it, they were happy for Jasmine but forgot how much pain and sacrifice she is going through as well am I. They just think that it is something to show off not raise, I think that's the issue with a lot of young girls.
"No, you don't, Jasmine made a sacrifice, I don't want you girls to make the same sacrifice, children are work and will soon become their own people. Jasmine has to become a mother and soon won't be able to come to class because she will be raising her child, now please stop talking and say your morning pledge." Mina said as we all stopped talking, I was happy. I wanted to be the second person to hold my niece or nephew when they came, everyone was shocked, I saw Angelic's face, he seemed shocked and terrified, I wonder what It would be like if Michael actually saw his child, he would freak out.
"He sees beauty, he sees body, he sees grace, the woman we all are supposed to be." We chanted three times to four times a day, usually, I hated this chant this morning, I still feel like an art sculpture in a damn museum to be stared at an admired. Why do we chant this if we're not going to be with a man but only do stuff for them while they aren't around? Why don't we just live for ourselves, why we can't it be, we are beautiful, we have body, and will become the women we are supposed to be since men are people we can't have, why do we involve them in everything we do?
Why is uncertainty and mystery the only thing that falls back on a woman if we make a decision, we have to be stealthy and follow rules, we are scared to have sex, make children, get into relationships, walk home, take any risk related to be in the same spot as a man and it's tiring especially when no one knows the future and needs to except that whatever decision we make, it is for ourselves, we wake up in our bodies, in the mirror with our conscious, noises in our heads, rules from men, judgement from other women and we are born alone and die alone so why follow anything but our own hearts?
"Okay girls, come with me to put on your colorful skirts." Mina said as we walked with her and me and Jasmine began talking.
"I'm so sorry, I was being one of the worst followers, but I know we will grow closer, and you will be the best aunt ever. I feel so old in a way, I just feel already like a mother. I miss your brother dearly and wish I could turn the clock, but consequences have gotten the best of me, and I will try to explain the best I can to my child, woman or man." She said as we both walked hand in hand as Keisha looked back at us every second. I did not want her to be in this conversation at all and I don't intend to forgive her, I didn't intend to forgive Jasmine or Angelic, but it just happened, forgiveness is the cure to holding on to past irritation, but it isn't an invitation to repetition and ignorance.
