black coffee | remus lupin [2]

71. lying sometimes means protecting

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THE DARKNESS BEHIND his eyes brought her pain. He was upset. So, so upset. And she really didn't know if she could change that.

"Remus..." she began in a quiet, quiet voice. "I-"

"Is that...is that what I think it is?" He asked, tears already welling his eyes as he looked back and forth at the mark on her forearm and in her eyes.

"Remus...I need you to listen to me-"

"What's h-happening?" He asked, letting go of her other wrist and walking away from her. "I can't...oh god, I can't-"

"Remus, please listen-"

"Why do you have that?" He asked quietly, by now standing by the staircase and holding onto the railing next to it tightly, as if he was sure he would fall if he didn't. "Why-"

"I didn't have a choice," Claudia said in a sob she couldn't hold back, slowly walking towards him. "I didn't have a choice, Remus, I swear."

"I don't understand."

"But you will soon," Claudia said as she took one more step towards him and placed her hand in his. "Let me explain."

He tore his hand from hers. Not in a dramatic and harsh way, but in a slow and uncertain way.

"I don't think I can..." he said breathlessly, but he couldn't finish his sentence. "I can't..."

"Please listen," Claudia said, stepping closer
and reaching for him.

But he only backed away. And then he looked up into her eyes. And suddenly he seemed so much colder than before.

"You're a...you're one of them," he said out of disbelief. "Oh, god, you're-"

"I'm not," Claudia insisted.

"But you are," he said, his bottom trembling so. "Y-you're...a Death Eater."

"I'm not," she said.

"Then how would you explain that mark on your arm?" Remus asked almost angrily, looking at it out of disgust. "Oh god, Claudia, I can't-"

"I just need you to listen to me," Claudia said desperately. "Please! Just listen, alright? I will explain everything-"

"Explain what?"

"Everything," she said with hope in her eyes.

But she didn't feel quite as hopeful. It seemed that with each passing second, Remus processed what was before him and the facts he had just discovered more and more.

And with each passing second, he looked more and more angry. More and more mad.

More and more disgusted.

He wasn't going to hear her out. She knew that by now.

"I just..." he managed to get out. "I can't, Claudia, you're..."

"I'm me," she said, nearing him again, only for him to back off. "I'm still Claudia. Nothing has changed."

"But you're one of them," he said quietly, refusing to meet her eyes. "You're one of them. And they're...they're murderers. All of them."

Claudia froze.

"I just...I don't even know what to think now, Claudia," he continued. "I can't...I mean, the others mentioned it being possible. But I never once believed them. And now...oh god, it all makes sense. All the secret things you had to go to, and all the times I swore you were lying about something. You know I can see right through you more than you think, right? But now...I can't...I can't recognise you."