🖤💜Redolence Of Yours💜🖤 (Taehyung×OC)

32. Just One Day

🖤💜: Then just give me one day, even in my dreams, just one day. The countless words I had to swallow with the excuse of reality so that I can properly say just one word. 💜🖤

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".... cell counts were pretty high. It was almost impossible to know what the real problem was until we did the false color MRI. Hey are you even listening to me?"

"Yeah.... Umm..." Taehyung paused for a few seconds and questioned, "So what did the MRI say?"

"There's a mild swelling in her hypothalamus. I should have guessed that by her off the charts corticosteroids...... "

The hypothalamus - part of the brain's limbic system which controls emotions and memories. The hippocampus stores memories of actions and the outcomes associated with it so that we don't repeat the same mistake twice. The amygdala attaches emotional significance to our memories; making them special or dreadful. And finally, the hypothalamus gland - the centre most part of the brain secretes certain hormones that control our emotional processes. The joys, the heartaches, the excitements, the hatred, the love......

.... Everything is the physiological activities of the hypothalamus.

Maybe we have no soul. Maybe we are just puppets pumped up with chemicals that decide our actions and feelings. The complex organic substances fire up our neurons, making us trapped in a tunnel vision, at the end of which lies our subject of love or hatred. Or maybe both.

Isn't there a way to switch off all these chemical reactions? What if the world were run by mere humanoids, neurologically programmed in such a way that allowed them to just function according to basic needs only? What if there were no things called attachment or conflicts or dependency?

Would the world be a better place then or it will just be the fossil of what we strive for most in life?

Love....

Isn't that what we live for, apart from our biological needs?

Belongingness....

Isn't that where we feel the safest even if there's no roof above our head?

"..... That's it. Go write an application to the DNS. You're taking a leave for a couple of days."

"Huh?"

Both men stared at each other for two seconds and then Taehyung opened his mouth once again, "No I'm not Minie. I'm not sick, none of my relatives died, I'm not getting married...." He dismissed Jimin and attached the test results into his patient's file.

"You can't keep doing this Tae...." Jimin tagged along. "It's been a week and you've barely eaten or slept well. Either face it or let it go!"

Deep down, Taehyung wanted nothing more than this. His rational mind was screaming at him to come to a conclusion and put an end to the suffering. Every night or more precisely every opportunity he gets to sleep (because proper sleep is not included in the dictionary of health workers), he closes his eyes with a conviction that he will respond immediately when he wakes up but when he actually does, and looks at the drawer where he kept her phone number, his hands and feet collapse. He's sunken in this infinite pool of numbness that's preventing him from acting up; because if he does, the result will be too real to handle. He's feeling incompetent, yet he's trying to reach out for something on the outside.... Any indication, any signal from the universe that will inspire him to make a decision and Jimin's rambling wasn't helping to do so.

"..... Or I'll do it myself!"

"You wouldn't dare!"

A few staffs and patients looked at their direction and Taehyung walked away with the file through corridor.