Finn's Baby- Complete

34

Polly pov

I took the sobbing children home with the help of Ada. We got in the car unaware of what happened moments ago. Neither of us knew why Finn had rushed into the garrison red eyed and shaking. We didn't know why Lydia was sobbing loudly and we didn't know why Dan was crying also yet trying to hold it back. I saw how the young boy held his sister all the way home and sniffed back his Tears for her.

We arrived at Finns house and went inside with the children. Me and Ada shared worried glances as Lydia refused to let go of Dan. It was 10 o'clock and past their bedtime but I figured they would need something to help them sleep

"Do you want some hot chocolate my darlings?" I asked them softly

"No. I want mummy" Lydia screamed crying. I didn't know where Nessa was and I could only assume she had gone out for the night.

"Mummy will be back soon" Ada told them. Lydia sobbed again and ran upstairs. I heard her door slam and I tried to hold myself together for the kids. Watching them so upset made me want to cry for them. Dan sat on the sofa looking at his eyes crying quietly

"Mum isn't coming back" he whispered shaking slightly. My face fell as I realised why the children and finn must be so upset. Something terrible must have happened to Nessa. The poor girl who had become a part of our family.

"Let's get you to bed" ada said after a moment of silence. She lifted Dan up and walked up the stairs. I stayed down so i could call the garrison and get some questions answered

A: ello
P: Hello Arthur. Its me
A: oh hiya pol. Are the kids alright?
P: they are in bed but far from alright. Lydia won't leave Dan's side. And the pair havnt stopped crying. Lydia keeps screaming for Nessa
A: poor kids. Av they told you what happened?
P: no. I didn't ask because they were so upset
A: they were outside the toy shop when a gun went off. They all got in the car and that's when finn realised nessa had been shot. She tried to hold on but.....but she died outside the hospital
P: oh god. Poor girl. Is finn alright?
A: he's sleeping after drinking alot
P: well don't let him drink when he wakes up. I know he will be grieving but the kids need him. And he needs you to help him through this without killing himself with booze
A: got it pol. Give the kids my love

I hung up when I heard a scream coming from upstairs. I ran up the stairs and into the kids room as fast as I could. When I entered, Lydia was sat against the head board sobbing and Ada was trying to calm Dan who was throwing his toys about

"No. I want my mum. Not you" he screamed at her. I could see Ada trying not to lose her patience but I stepped in before it was too late

"Dan. Look at Lydia. She's scared darling" I told him kneeling down to his height. He looked at Lydia who was shaking with her head in her hands. He didn't hesitate to run over to her and get on her bed. She leant into him as he wrapped his arms around her

"I'm sorry Lyd. I didn't mean to scare you" he apologised kissing her head

"You two get tucked in. And get some rest now. I love you" i told them kissing their cheeks and pulling the covers over them. I ushered ada out of the room and we went downstairs to the living room. I told her what happened and both of us started crying in eachothers arms. Nessa was a part of our family. She was like a daughter to me and a sister to Ada. God just wasn't fair sometimes

"Do you think finn will be alright?" She asked gathering herself

"I honestly don't know Ada. She was his whole world. Loved her more than anything other than Lydia. I don't know if he's gonna be able to be a father whilst grieving like this" I said

"We'll help him through this. He's a good boy our finn. I just hope he doesn't take the same route as my older brothers. Drinking their sorrows away" i hugged her one last time before we stood up to go to bed.

Finn pov

I woke up at half 11 in the garrison. Their was empty whiskey bottles surrounding me but still one half full. I grabbed it and before I could put it to my lips, it was taken from my hand

"Finn, you can't drink away your problems. You have kids at home who need you. Don't turn into our father please" John said hugging me. My worst fear was turning into my father and just the thought made me break down in his arms. Tommy had left whilst I was sleeping and it was just me, John and Arthur

"I know its hard mate. Nessa was a good woman. Good mother. She would want you to take care of Dan for her." Arthur said

"How can I? I can't even look after myself. Without her, I would never have made it this far" I cried

"If you don't look after him, his dad will end up doing it. And we both know that will only end in Dan's murder. The man is a bad father. And Nessa will be turning in her grave if she knows you let that man take her son" Arthur told me. He was right. And I wouldn't let him take Dan. For Nessa. But I couldn't look after him. I couldn't be a father.

"I can't look after my kids" i sobbed

"Yes you can. You are an amazing father finn" John said holding my face.

"I let my baby die" I cried

"Finn, what do you mean?" John asked

"Nessa was pregnant. We found out 2 days ago. I let her and the baby die" I said as large tears fell from my face and a choked sob escaped my lips. I saw my brothers faces soften as John brought me in for another hug

"It's wasn't your fault" he said

"We are taking you home. You are gonna go to sleep and when you wake up, help your kids. You'll find out they help you as much as you help them" Arthur ordered. I nodded too tired to say anything.

They took my home and walked me inside since I was drunk. Although the grief masked it well. They left the house knowing Ada and Aunt Pol were here if I needed any help. But right now, all i needed was my babys. I went upstairs sluggishly and opened the kids room.

Dan was in Lydia's bed with his arms dropped over her side as she slept facing away from him. My heart sunk realising that Nessa would never see them again. She would never get to experience their laughs or their smiles. Or the way they can love eachother one second and hate eachother another.

I walked over to the bed and lifted the covers slightly. I got in bed behind Dan and wrapped my arms around my kids. No matter what happens, I can't let them go. I can't let Nessa down when she brought me so far up. I felt as Dan relaxed into my touch and snuggled up to me

"I love you dad" he whispered next to his sister who was snoring

"I love you too son."

"I love you mum" he said before falling asleep bringing me close to tears

"Ye. She loves us too. So much"