(flower, i think i've spoilt you too much so it's time to hurt your heart with some hardzello breakup with no getting back together)
How could he?
He said he'd help me through this?
"I can't keep, prioritising you! I have problems of my own that I need to sort out and having you in the way isn't helping?" Joe shouted at me
I was blocking him from being happy? He told me that I was his source of happiness?! He's lying to me!
"I know I said I'd help you but it wasn't bad then. You need help, Ben, real help! You're practically killing yourself!" He kept on
Stop talking! I don't need help, all I need is you!
"I knew having you smoke real cigarettes on set would lead somewhere bad. I knew you'd get addicted but I couldn't say anything! I didn't want to be that overprotective boyfriend that wouldn't let you do anything"
Addicted? I barely smoked more than 10 a day? That's not addictive, that's normal right?
"If you don't talk I can't help you!"
"I thought you didn't want to help me?" I finally spoke to Joe lifting me head to look at the older boy
"I do...but-" Joe started defending himself but I had already spoken over him
"But what? You can't help through the whole process? I thought that's what you promised me right at the beginning?!" I stood up towering over him slightly making it obvious I was going to lose my temper soon
I wasn't an angry person, never, I never raised my voice at anyone, let alone Joe. But I had been drinking. Just a few, I promise
"Ben, calm down, please honey" Joe tried but if anything that did the opposite
"Honey? You go from 'Hey Ben! We're breaking up because I can't deal with your addiction that you clearly need someone to help you through it' to 'Hey Ben! Honey, suck my dick, will you?"
"Fuck off! Don't say that shit!" Joe tried turning away but I caught him before he could
"Why can't I? Maybe go back to your morals of not wanting to be an overprotective boyfriend because I liked you better that way. When you're quiet and let me do whatever I like because it doesn't affect you in any fucking way!" I was slowly losing it as the seconds pass
"It does fucking affect me though! I hate coming home after a really long day and I'm practically suffocating in the smoke, why don't you open a fucking window?" Joe pushed at my chest, this didn't go down well and I had stopped thinking about what I was saying at this point
"Why don't you throw yourself out the window?! WOULD DO US ALL A FUCKING FAVOUR!" I pushed him back harder causing him to trip over his foot a little and tumble back more than I expected
"Why are you the one that's attacking me?! All I ever did was love you? Was that not enough for you?! Apparently not because you cheated on me a few months into the relationship! WITH GWILYM!"
Fuck...
Everything had gone silent.
"Liar" I spoke normally now but still with hints of anger
