When We Crossed Paths

Chapter Eleven: Love Is Terrible

It was a nice, sunny Saturday morning. I remember standing at the entrance of Anamoriinari Station. I was waiting for Nishimura, who had invited me to go to Akihabara with him. He wanted me to check out Manga with him. This was something we did fairly often. I always enjoyed it. It was our little tradition to check out the latest volume releases.

But...something was different this time. I'd been feeling worse and worse over recent weeks. Shizuka was right. I wasn't happy. I wasn't happy pretending. I wasn't happy faking a smile. I wasn't happy acting like I wasn't madly in love with him.

I knew she was right. I had to tell him. But, I was too scared to tell him. I really didn't want to lose him. I was sure he'd hate me. But, again, like she said, I wasn't happy with how things were. I didn't know what to do. It was extremely frightening.

"Yo! Yamashita!" Nishimura cheered as he approached me.

"Morning!" I weakly smiled.

"Shall we go?" He asked with a beautiful smile.

I just nodded.

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It was a silent journey to Akihabara. I was conflicted. I tried to come up with something to say, but I just couldn't find my voice. From Anamoriinari to Shinagawa, changing to the Yamanote Line for Akihabara. It felt longer than it should have been. Awkward. That's what it was.

He sat next to me, staring at the floor. His gaze unwavering. He was clearly feeling awkward. Although I doubt he'd ever admit that.

"The next station is Akihabara. The doors on the right side will open. Change here for the Keihin-Tohoku Line..."

Nishimura suddenly stood up during the announcement. He turned to face me and smiled.

"OK?" He asked.

"Yeah!" I responded with a smile.

Once the train stopped and the doors were opened, we stepped out onto the platform and shuffled with crowds of people down the steps towards the barriers.

Once we had stepped through the barriers, Nishimura stopped and turned to face me. He just looked at me with a bit of a blank expression. He didn't say anything. The sounds of people bustling and talking. The various sounds of the station. The beeps, announcements and departure melodies.

"Are you OK?" He suddenly asked me.

"Y-yeah. Of course I am!" I responded. A little surprised of the sudden question.

"No you're not!" He replied.

"I am!" I whined.

"You're lying to me!" He grunted. "You've not been yourself for a while now. Somethings up. Tell me!"

I just stared at him. I was completely shell-shocked at this random line of questioning. I hated that he noticed something was up. I was so sure that I was expertly hiding it. Although, I was a little overcome with confusion of why he was questioning me like that in public. This was definitely a conversation to be had in private. The only issue was how I was going to explain to him. Denying was obviously not going to work. He called me a liar so, he was onto me. And yes, I do remember Shizuka's words. I had to tell him how I felt. However, not here. I didn't want to do it in public. This was not going to end well and I really didn't want to start crying in public.

"Yamashita!" He said sternly. "Why won't you talk to me!?"

"I...uhm..." I stuttered.

"Something is seriously bothering you!" He continued.

"Why do we need to discuss it here? Why are you asking me these questions in public?" I eventually questioned back.

"So there is something wrong?" He pressed.