When We Crossed Paths

Chapter Thirteen: Did You Say Something!?

I had been avoiding Nishimura for a couple of weeks now. I really hated myself for doing something so petty. But, I wasn't coping anymore. I was embarrassed about what had happened at Akihabara Station and in my room. I honestly wasn't sure if I could face him again. Although, he was determined. He was texting, calling. He even came to my house a couple of times. I had to tell my Mum to tell him I wasn't home, but I obviously couldn't tell her why. I was leaving for school later than normal to avoid him.

My feelings were quite conflicted. I loved that he wasn't giving up. But I was still embarrassed, I still hated myself for how I treated him and for how I felt. But...as I fell deeper and deeper into the black hole, I found it even harder to climb out it. I was trapped in a spiral. I had to make things right. I had to face the reality I was presented with. I was going to have to be honest with him. I decided I was going to contact him after school. I was hoping the damage wasn't permanent.

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I reached the school gates. It was funny, I actually felt an ominous wind pass through me. As though pre-warning me about something. I started to walk towards the doors of the school. I thought I was going crazy because I was sure the other students were looking at me. As I walked through the corridors, I would see them steal glances and whisper. They were definitely talking about me. But...what were talking about and why?

I entered homeroom where all eyes immediately turned to me. There were butterflies churning in my stomach. Something seriously wrong was happening. I sat down at my usual desk. Hanae was sitting behind me like normal. I turned round to face him.

"Morning Hanae!" I said with a smile.

He didn't even look up. He was trying hard not to make eye contact with me. "Morning...Yamashita."

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"N-Nothing..." he stuttered.

"Seriously. What's going on? Why are you acting weird? Actually, why is everyone acting weird?" I enquired.

"Everyone...knows..." he said, still avoiding eye contact.

"Knows what?" I asked.

"We all know that you're...you know...gay."

"What!?" I gasped.

"I didn't know that you...I don't really know how to talk to you...the guys are feeling uncomfortable..."

"Hanae! There's nothing to feel uncomfortable about. I'm still me!" I explained.

"I think it's best not to talk for a while." He said, still not making eye contact.

I just sat there in complete shock. He stood up and walked over to the group of boys at the other side of the classroom who very swiftly looked away when I looked over at them.

All I felt was complete fear. Everyone knew. Someone told them. Who could have told them? The only person that knew was...Shizuka. But...surely not. She wouldn't do such a thing, would she? Everything was a mess. I was falling. Falling further down that black hole like a meteor. I was finding it harder to breath. I felt completely isolated. Everything that I thought would happen had happened. Everyone was talking about me. No one wanted to talk to me. They were all staring, whispering and snickering. It was awful. I felt that my life was over. The sky was dark, my world turned grey. I wanted to disappear.

"Yamashita-kun!" Shizuka greeted. Her usual smile was replaced with a look of serious concern. "Everyone knows...they're all talking about you..."

I suddenly stood up and looked at her sternly. "Did you tell anyone!?"