When We Crossed Paths

Chapter Twelve: Cocoon

*bzzz*

*bzzz*

*bzzz*

*bzzz*

*bzzz*

*bzzz*

I was lying in my bed. It was Sunday morning and the sunlight was shining through my curtains. I had no idea what time it was. My eyes were red raw. I hadn't stopped crying since coming home. I only stopped crying because I became so dehydrated that I physically couldn't cry anymore.

My phone was buzzing like crazy. I knew who it was though. Nishimura had been texting and calling since yesterday. My whole emotional breakdown the day before had clearly left him confused and needed answers. However, I really didn't want to talk to him. I couldn't. My worst fear had materialised. The moment I had begged not to be faced with had occured.

I was dead. I had no desire to face anyone and I had no plan to leave my room, let alone my bed.

*knock knock*

"Hideki?" My mum lightly called out. "Are you OK?"

"I'm fine..." I droned.

"Are you not coming down?" She asked.

"No. Please leave me alone!" I requested.

"Can I come in?" She asked.

"No! I want to be left alone!" I insisted.

"You sound upset. Please talk to me." She pleaded.

"Mum! Leave me alone! Please!" I demanded.

All I heard was a sigh and the sound of light footsteps waking downstairs.

I wanted to be left alone. I wanted my solitude. I really wasn't ready to talk. However, I knew that she would force the conversation on me eventually and I needed to think of an explanation. I couldn't figure out how to tell my best friend (who was a boy) that I was in love with him. Forget about telling my parents that their only child was gay. I wasn't prepared for that discussion.

My phone was buzzing like crazy. I did eventually pick up my phone to see.

20 messages and 5 missed calls. All from Nishimura. Well, except one, which was from Shizuka. I couldn't even bring myself to talk to her either. I felt embarrassed. That's twice she had seen me cry. I was sure she thought I was a bit of a cry baby.

On a side note, I was partly amazed that my complete emotional distress had paused my need for food...as well as the need for the bathroom. Too much information, I know. An interesting tid-bit.

I just stayed in bed. I had absolutely no concept of time. Couldn't have told you what time it even was.

The sound of the doorbell echoed through the hall. The noise of the door being opened. The muffled sound of my mother's voice. I couldn't make out what she was saying but she sounded pleased. I turned over to face the other wall and closed my eyes. The light sound of footsteps making their way up the stairs. My Mother was obviously coming to annoy me again.

*Knock Knock*

"Yamashita?" Nishimura said lightly. I squeezed my eyes tight. Hoping he'd go away.

"Yamashita, can I come in?" He asked softly. I said nothing. I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want him to see me like this. I pulled the covers over my head so, I was completely covered.

"I'm coming in..." He said as he opened the door. Boy, he couldn't take a hint.

I heard his footsteps lightly and slowly walk closer to my bed.

He sat down at the end of my bed. There was silence......

"Yamashita. Please talk to me." He pleaded.

I said nothing.

"What's going on?" He asked. "Things have become so...awkward recently. You seem really down. Depressed even."

I still didn't answer. I was trying not to move or make any noises.

"I know you've been crying..." he continued. "I know that your red eyes most mornings aren't from being tired. You're crying because something is seriously wrong. Why won't you talk to me!? Why do you keep lying to me!? We're best friends. You're very important to me. In fact, you're the most important person to me and it really hurts that you won't talk to me!"

I just remained still. I remember internally scoffing. What would he know about being hurt? He has no idea what that means.

"OK! Enough!" He suddenly said.

The next thing I knew, the cover had been pulled right off me, exposing my face. I looked up and I was shocked at what I was afronted with.

Nishimura staring at me with tear stained eyes. I had never seen that before. I was shocked, but I looked away.

"Yamashita! Please! What's going on? Talk to me! Look me in the eyes and talk to me!" He begged.

I was having none of it. I wrestled with him to regain control of the bed cover. He had a tight grip on it.

"Stop!" He demanded grabbing my hand. "You can't keep running from your problems!"

I hardly took in what he said. Everything had become white noise. The heat from his hand travelled through me. I looked up at him. His sapphire eyes gleaming at me. The tears had made them shine even more. The sheer temptation just to kiss him right there and then was overwhelming. But I couldn't...he liked someone else and I wasn't prepared to make things difficult.

"GO AWAY!" I yelled. Finally regaining control of the cover, I pulled it back over my head. Within that split second, I saw the shocked and sad expression on his face.

"OK..." He said quite solemnly. He had admitted defeat. "I'll go..."

I felt the weight at the bottom of my bed lift and the light footsteps making their way towards the door.

"Yamashita?" He said slightly hesitantly.

"What?" I forced out.

"I'm not giving up!"