Confessions of a Bitch

Chips, Salts and Nuns

The principal doesn't look impressed by my standard of behavior and it's only Thursday. I barely listen to what comes out of his mouth as I chew on my ice blast flavored gum. I look at my watch. Its 9:30am and I've got biology to go to. Even though I don't give a damn about the subject, I'd rather be there listening to Mr. Gibson ramble on about a rat's reproductive system, than the principal lecturing me about my life. 

"This is year twelve Amanda, and it's about time you got your act together." I pop another chewing gum in my mouth, and then begin toying with it, stretching and twirling it between my fingers. The principal cringes. He then goes on to talk about how year twelve is the most important year of my life and how I'm supposed to be on my best behavior. 

"Excuse me," I interrupt. "I have classes to attend." He barely gets another word out of his mouth when I storm out of the office. The bell rings. I've got directed study, which means going off to the library, meaning I get to see Mrs. Snippet for the first time in four months. 

I love a good bitchy reunion. 

Mrs. Snippet eyes me from the top of her brand new technologically advanced laptop as I seat beside the romance fiction bookshelf. The woman's hated me ever since I punched Baby G's guts and has frankly enjoyed making my reading life unbearable. She even banned me from borrowing books from the library for an entire year because my books were two days overdue. But not to worry; I got around it by calmly asking Victoria to borrow the books for me. To be honest, I enjoy the torture. It gives me an adrenaline rush and something to smirk about. I'm planning on burning down her office once I finish school. Of course the school would have me as their main suspect but they'll never be able to prove it. 

I open my media booklet and quickly scan through my assignment. Mr. Hotpants and I, have to a make a documentary about something that interests us. Watching Law and Order must have got into David's brain because he wants us to do a documentary on a rapist with a criminal conviction longer than the Schlinder's list. Anyway, I have a better idea. I am going to do a documentary on the girl's he's slept with. Actually, it's not really going to be a documentary. It's basically going to be a piece on the girl's dumb enough to have a one night stand with him and how they get back at him by making him fall in love with a nice sweet girl aka Victoria, and then BAM punch him in the balls. I honestly want to drink some vodka in self satisfaction. Problem is I just need to get Victoria and the ducks to side with me.  

Yeah right. It's never ever going to happen. 

Victoria wants to join the nunnery when she's older. Watching Sister Act gave her great ideas and she decided she'd look like a penguin for most of her adult life and die a virgin. Personally I think the nuns will kick her out as she as she arrives there because she'll be too much for them to handle. 

I close the booklet and sigh. My plan has to work. All I have to do is ask Victoria and see where it goes from there. 

                                                                                       ++ 

"What's up with you sister?" I suppress a groan as Victoria starts speaking like an African American. I swear she's related to Mercedes from glee sometimes. "Are you saying that I have to pretend to fall in love with some stinkin' man whore?" 

"Think about operation take down." I reply as I hand the canteen lady five dollars for my chips. 

"Hold up girlfriend. I'm not doing it. Hell no." 

"Come on. Think of Isabella." I'm literally pleading with her now and it's something I rarely ever do. 

"I said no." 

I almost throw the hot chips in Victoria's face. "Why do you have to be so difficult?" 

Victoria batters her eye lashes, "I'm not being difficult." 

"You can be such a bitch at times." I mutter under my breath. Victoria kicks me on the arse. "Ouch! What was that for?" 

"You look like you needed an arse whooping so I gave you one," She grins and sits beside me on one of the benches. "Listen girlfriend." 

"You make us look like we're lesbians." 

Victoria rolls her eyes. "Anyway, many girls have tried your idea before and failed. And there's no way I'm working with Georgia or any other plastic chick." 

"It's to do with your tits and butt isn't it?" 

"No! Personally I just think we should bust his car." 

"How about we -" 

Victoria stops me halfway through. "Listen girlie. How about we stop, chill and think of a better idea. There's no need to rush. We've got nine months to work it" 

"Why do you suddenly sound like you've just had a spiritual awakening?" I retort. 

Victoria snorts and then sniffs me. "Have you been doing weed coz I haven't had a spiritual awakening." 

"No. I haven't been doing weed." 

We begin eating and I cringe as Victoria scuffs down some lettuce. So much for the prom diet. I feel I can breathe again for two seconds since Alyssa isn't with us. Victoria suddenly stops and turns to me. "Do cats have periods?" 

My food turns sour in my mouth and I spit it out. "What?" 

"I was just wondering ...you know; if they menstruate." 

"Oh gawd. I can't believe you're asking me this. In fact why are you asking me this question?" 

She shrugs. "I was just wondering." 

"Well, Google it. There's nothing Google can't solve." 

Victoria eyes my chips hungrily. I don't hesitate. "Here, you can have it." She quickly takes the chips and in a flash it's finished. "Please tell me you didn't ask about Cats having periods because you wanted my chips." Victoria's eyes twinkle and she grins. "You're such a bitch." 

"I love you too." 

The bell rings signaling the end of lunch. I've got media next. I say goodbye to Victoria and head off to class where David waits for me. 

"Hey." He says moving over. I don't reply. Mr. Gold walks in and without further ado, we begin working. I can't help but pop another chewie in my mouth as David rambles on about our project. From the looks of things, I'm the one who's going to do most of the work. I can't help but smirk and raise both eyebrows. I'm not carrying his arse across the finish line. 

"You do realize we're doing a project on Old Man Black right?" I ask, popping another chewie in my mouth. 

David winks. "I'm sure he'll fancy you Blondie." 

"Screw you." 

My task is dead set: do some research on a convicted rapist and criminal. Shooting commences on Monday after school. 

That should be interesting.

A/N: Sorry I took so long to update. I'm in my final year of school and school work is a bitch! I hope you liked this chapter. The song on the side is called "Everybody Talks" by Neon Trees. Enjoy!