A Novel's Beast World

8. Big Brain Time

Originally posted: March 27, 2022. Edited: February 17, 2023.

Harvey tended to whatever the heck he needed to and I was left alone. Now was the perfect time to summon up every IQ point I possessed and make a game plan. First, I got to go over what I know.

I'm stuck in the world of a webtoon, Manhua, or whatever the freak it's called. The guys here are desperate for some action. The women here make me seem nice. The MC is here with me. And every single thing from the smell of my arm pits to the taste of meat is uber realistic. For my sanity's sake, I have adopted the theory that this is a coma dream.

After patting myself on the back for listing the obvious, I moved on to the real question at hand. What was I going to do about it?

There is no telling when I will wake up, so it would be better to think this is long term until proven otherwise. But I cant think that far ahead. I can't even imagine having another conversation with Harvey. The shame burns strong in me.

God damn, Drew. Don't get distracted. As realistic as everything feels, I don't want to die painfully or get raped. The webtoon definitely had that theme and I am unlucky enough as it is. So, how can I avoid the 'bad end?'

The only answer from this sad excuse of a romance, is to take mates. I may be unattractive in reality, but here I may have a chance. At least, I will until I open my mouth.

No. I need to think optimistically. Remember what the therapist said: "Positive affirmations are the shit." Maybe he didn't say it quite like that, but close enough.

It was really hard to make plans when it was so freaking easy to get distracted. Where's my spinner? I'm sure it's in my pack somewhere. Retrieving the little gadget was the first step in my master plan. Now, I can get back to work.

Getting mates is a practical necessity here. I almost just picked one up by accident. From the original novel, Parker and Harvey were the only two characters to show up now. Curtis would be next. I met Rod who probably wasn't in the original story. Maybe I can seduce him and start building a harem....

So who else can I harem?

Harvey is a yes. He might not be strong, but he has access to spices and medicine. Plus he's a good guy. Most importantly, he's hot and almost married me earlier.

Moving on. Parker is clearly taken, not that I could tolerate his arrogant ass anyway. Plus he bitches for way too many chapters about being the MC's only mate. He literally grows up in a harem dominated society, but thinks he's going to have a women all to himself. Anime logic is strong in this one.

Next. Curtis is hot, but terrifying. Pass.

Next. Muir is hot, but hard to get. If the opportunity presents itself, I should take it. He was scheming and homicidal, but Curtis was thoroughly cock-blocking him. So Muir might be okay if he gets some. Bai will capture Muir if Curtis's plot line plays out. A shame, but I got to move along.

Winston. Holy hell! I could see Winston in person. I changed my mind. I'll be happy to stay in this coma. I swear, if someone wakes me up before I get to see the sexy tiger, I will voodoo their asses.

Back on topic... Winston is a definite yes. Since this world is major fuckery of superficial BS, I have a chance. I just need to get to him before Bai. He deserves so much better than he gets in the original story. Not that I'm the best choice, but someones got to volunteer as tribute.

Shuu doesn't seem bad. He was the main antagonist's lackey, but stayed true to Bai until he died. Poor guy really got the short end of the stick. He's a solid maybe.

Tony the bear was painfully strait-forward, but seemed good-natured. He'd be worth a consideration.

Alva the peacock is out. He's too superficial for me. He probably won't even give me a second glance.

Bluepool, the merman, was good eye-candy, but triggering his route would be hard. Surviving it would be impossible without Curtis. Not to mention, he also superficial.

Finally, there's the scorpion king... Aaaand hard pass. His appearance was second only to Winston's, but I ain't touching that. I like life and freedom. Hell, I probably wouldn't get that far. As soon as I lay eyes on his beast form, I'd drop dead. Like really dead, I'd make sure of it.

There are unknown variables like Rod. It's possible that I trip my way into the arms of hunky men, but with my coordination, I'd trip right back out.

I really can't help thinking of what my life would be like if I wasn't a sarcastic, self-depreciating, antisocial bitch. Without my crippling self confidence and shitty sense of humor, I wouldn't be me anymore.

I'd be stoked for all this neural activity, except I've only chosen a goal. Considering what happened with Harvey earlier, I may not need to speak much to get hitched. I'll take whatever blessing I can get. I better take stock of my candy and practice my hand-out skills.

Okay, proposal event is determined. What comes after? They reject my sorry ass and move on. No, no. Positive affirmations are necessary. They will love me and I am worth it. Gag. I'll have to work on those affirmations.

If they accept my lame proposal full of ingenuity, then we have sex and mission complete... As if it'll be that easy. Considering my virgin ass's deep experience pool, the hurdle for this part is high. I haven't even kissed a guy let alone making it to second base.

Oh God. I should have watched more porn.

Since my attention span was expiring, I needed to wrap up my plans. The conclusion I've come to: I need to treat this like a game and enjoy it. I won't be able to handle it otherwise. The name of my big brained plan will be 'Got to catch em all.' I can even hum the relevant theme song.

I pity the men who will have to put up with me.