A Novel's Beast World

34. Oh My God

First update of today, April 29th.

Uggggh. Why do I always seem to be sore. And it's so damned hot! Another meat sandwich? Wait, am I fucking naked? Wait a hot second! Oh shit was that...? Did we...? Seriously!? I wasn't dreaming?

Oh shit balls in hell! Nope, definitely not a dream. That means I slept with Shuu. No, fuck! Both at the same time. Oh my god. Oh my fucking god! How'd something like that happen!? Can it happen? Is that legal here? Oh shit! This is insane.

I wasn't supposed to jump Shuu until his trustworthiness was proven. It happened anyway. Shit. I haven't told him anything about myself. Will he feel betrayed? Will he be angry? And now he can't leave me if he wanted to. Fucking hell.

"What's wrong Drew?" Oh, Harvey. I can't even begin.

"Are you alright? Does it hurt?" Shuu, I can't even right now.

"Breathe Drew. Shuu, back up." Doctor mode Harvey is on. He didn't even blink ordering a stronger male around.

After my personal space returned to me, I was able to breathe. After several coaxing sessions and wet, cool towels later, I was okay enough to talk.

"Drew, can I get you anything?" Shuu asked nervously. "Harvey is boiling you a calming drink."

"Shuu. We need to talk." He looked ghastly. Does he think I'm going to break the bond or something? I'm not that much of a dick scum.

"Are the two others outside?"

"The hawks? D-do you want me to bring them here." Oh, hell no.

"Hell no. I want to make sure there is no-one but Harvey and you around to hear what I want to say."

"I'll go do a perimeter check." I couldn't even protest before he whooshed his very naked ass out the door.

"Are you feeling somewhat better now?" Harvey handed me the tea he made.

"Can't you feel with our super cool bond of matrimony." I tried to cover my anxiety with anything I could think of.

"I can, but I want to hear it with your words. Are you upset with what happened." Cue extra anxiety. "You don't have to think of it if you don't want to. As long as you don't want it, it will never happen again."

Oh my god. That's not it Harvey. How can I explain this with my shitty words? My thoughts can't even do that right now.

"It's not that Harvey. It's just... fast. I didn't expect to... I mean, I'm surprised. I just..." Uggh. Words come on! Brain cells, you got this. "I'm embarrassed, but I just, I wasn't expecting to mate with Shuu, let alone..." Both of you at the same time. Ahhhh! I can't even.

"Together?" Noooo! Harvey don't say it out loud. Please leave what's left of my shame in one piece. "It's not often males are willing to share like that. If it makes you this uncomfortable, it never has to happen again." Why are you explaining it you jerk?

"Harvey that's not i..." it. How can I say that. I can't and I won't. "Never mind, forget that for now. I have to tell Shuu about me. It feels like I did him dirty by holding out." Harvey thought about what I said before responding.

"I understand. I think it's safe. He's shown nothing but loyalty towards you." Harvey pondered some more. "He treasures you and you are fond of him. I wish I could tell you not to worry, but I know you'll do it anyway."

"You know me so well." Harvey chuckled.

"I wish I could know you well enough to help you unwind your worries."