A Novel's Beast World

59. Nah

June 13, 2022 update.

It's going to shit. I should've know better. The universe is always the biggest bitch when you drop your guard. The boys are now two months old and so logically, they should start eating solids. It's logical and apart of nature. So why do I have to scrub liquid shit off of their asses?

Okay, so it makes sense, but still. They aren't getting much meat, but their shit is spraying like piss. This is gross and stinks to high hell. I try to give them less meat, but then the little brats eat anything that crawls.

Gag! I dry heaved while working out the crusted shit. Harvey helped me by getting the other two.

"Finally!" The asses are now clean! I dumped the nasty, shit-stained rag into the 'burn it' pile. I prayed this part of their transition would end soon.

Because life wasn't fun enough, I got to experience fridge sized hail. The house did anyway. I have no damn clue how the house still stands. I think I might have pissed myself a little. It sounded liked freight trains were suicide-bombing us. Nature, you're scary.

I hoped that wasn't a common occurrence and the men assured me that it wasn't. I put on Harvey's attempt at pants. They were not comfortable, but they were warm. I jumped up and down, trying to get the ass into place. I can do this, just got to hop like a bunny bitch. I think I felt a stitch or two give way. Oops.

I wore as many layers as I could and tied the shaw I made around the face like a scarf. I wore an ugly cap that I tried to make from skunk-like fur. I looked like a scout from the boomer era. At least it's warm.

Thankfully, snow followed the hail. Giant snow flakes were cool shit. The kids ate them, but that was safe. I did teach them not to eat yellow snow and they seemed to get it. They can probably smell it and didn't need that particular parently advice. Oh well.

Howling in the distance caught everyone's attention and Shuu translated. Apparently the ape king was giving out free wine. That meant this was the first event and not wheat seeds. Why does he give out free shit again? I forgot.

"Why?" Now I'm sounding like Alec. Great.

"Fruit syrup helps warm females." Umm. I get it, but that's temporary. Me and Qingqing already talked about wine. We are going to try it when fruit comes around. I don't know how she'll get around the yeast part, but I don't care. I can get drunk off my ass. Once the kids quit the milk anyway.

"Ok." I'm not convinced, but cool. Time to go. I think Rosa picks a fight there. I want to see if she'll leave me alone and go after Qinqing instead.

Winston, Alec, and Shuu came with. Rowan, Harvey, and the kids stayed behind. Parker and Qingqing came too. A lot of eyes landed on us and I squirmed. Me and Qingqing were set down and ape king made an appearance. He gave us a questionable look. I swear I could see his gears turning.

Don't think too much or a certain snake with fuck you over. That'll probably happen anyway. He said some 'congrats on birthing babies' and invited us inside his castle. The men stayed outside.

"Winston, Shuu... Perfect. Just like that." They were in standby mode, but Shuu broke his soldier mode to beam at me. "Alec, don't fuck anything up."

"Why me?" Alec responded incredulously.

"If someone is going to, I'd put my bets on you and Parker."

"What do I have to do with this?" I laughed at Parker's twisted expression.

"Hopefully, nothing." I turned around and went inside before he could retort. I heard Parker ask Alec what 'fuck' was and snorted. I suppressed the laughter and earned a bunch of looks. I charge admission for the show, you shits.