The Sinners

Sin: part 4 (filler)

I was trying to sleep. Anyhow.

Knowing that Joshua was sleeping right beside me was making me tense, though we were lying with our backs facing each other. Should I just ask him to sleep on the couch?

 I was literally planning, how can I make him stay here longer? And make him fall in love with me again? Then I thought, why am I behaving like a hopeless teenager in a young adult novel? It's stupid.

After counting numerous sheep in my head, I was gradually drifting off. But was again woken up in some minutes by a tug on my shirt, then pats on my shoulder. 

I turned around to see Joshua looking at me. "Yeah, baby?" I mumbled drowsily with closed eyes. My habit of calling him baby will never change. He pulled my shirt again. "Did you forget the way to the toilet?"

I opened my eyes fully when he slapped my arm lightly. He was pointing a finger at himself, looking so anxious. "What happened?"

He pointed again. "What?" I was oblivious for a second, then sat up frowning. He was signaling at his chest. I turned the lamp on to see. There was a blood spot on his shirt. "Oh, God, you're bleeding?" Maybe his wound reopened.

"Come with me," I got up from bed and took him toward the bathroom. 

"Don't worry, re-opening of a wound is usual if it wasn't treated properly," I said taking out the first-aid box. "And how your clumsy ass keep falling here and there, it's expected,"

We've given first-aid training in our practice sessions, so that's good that I don't have to take him to the hospital.

 "Remove your shirt," I said drawing out the stuff. 

He pulled the hem of his shirt below and shook his head. "You know I can't apply antiseptic to your t-shirt, right?"

He bit his lip and gestured for me to turn around. 

"Are you serious?" He gestured again. "All right," I sighed and turned my back. 

"Done?" I asked after a few seconds. I don't see the point here, I mean I'll see him anyway. He tapped on my shoulder, I turned around and— was I surprised. He has a-abs? Since when did he start working out? His muscles are toner than mine. Damn! I'm practically drooling. And this powerful urge to touch his abs. God!

He waved his hand before my eyes. "Y-Yeah..." I almost spaced out.

 I took a good look at his chest and my eyebrow twitched at the sight. He had patched it like how some kid sticks duct tape on a broken toy truck. 

I sighed heavily. "Come closer," I said. He did, but my eyes again fell on his abs.

Control your steam engine, Jeonghan.

Carefully, I removed old bandages one by one. "Didn't you put an antiseptic on it before?"

He shook his head. That's why it hasn't healed yet. With a damp towel, I gently cleaned the wound, then soaked the cotton in an antiseptic, but was unsure how to put it with him standing. "Let's sit," I said, he furrowed his brows. 

So— we both sat down on the tiled floor of the bathroom. That's better. "It'll hurt a little," I warned him. As soon as I put the antiseptic on his bruise, he winced and held my hand. "Is it hurting much?"

He nodded innocently. 

"Just divert your mind to something else. Just-Just think about me," 

He gave me a monotonous look. "Nevermind. Endure the pain then," 

When I proceeded, he squeezed his eyes and opened his mouth as if yelling,

I can't do anything about his tantrums. At times like these, I thank God that he doesn't have any voice or he'll kill my ears by shouting. 

He pushed back my hand, spilling some of the liquid on my face. "What the hell-"

His face turned pale, he's well aware of my scolding whenever he behaves like a kid. But I didn't. I told you I've changed. "It's fine," I said wiping my face on his shirt. After that, he sat still and let me do my work silently. 

I'm thinking how he's so defenseless and weak right now that I can pounce on him if I want to and he won't be able to counter against me. 

I stare at him, his shut eyes, pursed lips, trying to hold back the pain without acting up again. A low inaudible chuckle escaped my lips. 

 I'm not a lusty demon. I can never do that to a cutey like him, never in any life. Besides, we just became friends from exes. I don't wanna lose this tag.

Next, I put a layer of betadine gel, then started dressing it up.

 "You stay on the phone all day, have you never tried to search how to treat a wound?" I said.

He scratched the back of his head and looked up. "C'mon get up, it's done," I said standing him up and myself. "No lifting weights, no exercising, no running in the house, no fighting with anyone, no sleeping to this side. Got it?"

He gave me a lazy two-finger salute, then yawned. "Let's go to bed," I said touching his cheek.

 I gave him another shirt to wear. It was also big on him. Well, what can I do?

He went first and grabbed his corner on the bed. I went to the bathroom to put back the stuff and first-aid kit. Believe it or not, I'm a neat freak. Anyway, my night's already ruined, so it doesn't matter now if I sleep or not. Just a couple of hours are left for the sun to rise.

I went back to the bedroom to check on him. He was sleeping so peacefully as if he didn't just wake me up to patch his open wound in the middle of the night. God has given him the power to fall asleep quickly whenever wherever. Wish I could be like him, so careless. I do want to be like him. He's so brave. He just... does what he wants without thinking of conclusions, though sometimes it turns into a problem.

 Suddenly a cold shiver ran down my body. The room was a little chilled. I increased the temperature to three degrees on AC, went near him to pull the blanket up to his neck, and kissed his cheek out of the habit. Then, self-realization. Did I just—

Shit! He didn't notice, did he?

°