Moments I'll Never Confess

Woman

I'm selfish, I know. But I don't ever want to see you with him. I'm selfish, I know. I told you, but I know you never listen.

Emily sipped on her whiskey as she sat on the couch at a party her friend Jane was throwing in her apartment. Everyone in their friend group was there and even a handful of people that Emily didn't recognize. The friend group remained pretty tight knit, even through college as most of them went into the city of Boston to go to school. She sat there quietly as she sipped and observed her surroundings around the large apartment. Music was blasting, people were drinking and yelling over the loudness to have conversation... a typical house party.

She had been chatting with Toshiaki and George but they both ended up getting up to join in a beer pong game. It was the height of the night—everyone had already been there a while and feeling good, Emily included. As much fun as she was having being surrounded by friends and having a fun time, she couldn't help but notice her eyes continuously gravitating toward Sue and Sam's direction. Emily and Sue were the best of friends, but their friendship had been more complicated recently. There was something more there between them and they both knew it. But there was someone in the way... Sue's long-time boyfriend, Sam.

In recent months, the girls had been gravitating closer to one another—flirting, being a bit touchier, getting closer to one another than they should, almost kissing... tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. It was becoming so apparent that even a few of their friends have asked them if there is something going on. The honest truth was, well, Emily didn't really know how to answer that. It's not like they were hooking up or anything, but Emily wasn't going to lie and say she hadn't thought about Sue in a way like that. Emily wanted to know what it was like to kiss Sue... touch her, like, really touch her.

Emily was attracted to her—she always had been. She had been crushing on Sue since they were teenagers. She was always openly queer, but Sue never was and still hadn't ever actually said it. That didn't matter, though, because they both knew there was something lingering between the two of them. Emily wished Sam wasn't in the picture and quite frankly, she never really liked to guy. She was never one to go in and ruin a relationship but there was something about how her and Sue were together recently that made her want to ruin Sue and Sam's.

"Hey!" A voice said—knocking Emily from her thoughts. Emily turned over to see Vinnie and Jane taking a seat next to her on the couch. "Why are you sitting here all alone... staring at Sue?" Vinnie asked. Jane and Vinnie both looked at Emily knowingly as all three of them sipped on their drinks during the short silence.

Emily glanced at Sue again before turning to Vinnie and Jane, "She looks very nice tonight—that's all."

And that was true—she was in a black spaghetti strap tank top that was tucked into her high waisted jeans and she was wearing black boots to match her top. It didn't take much for Sue, in Emily's eyes, to look good—she could be in the most ridiculous outfit ever and Emily would still find her extremely attractive.

"Okay—really..." Jane started, looking from Sue to Emily, "What's going on with you two?"

Emily sighed and shook her head, "There's nothing going on. Sue and I are just great... friends."

"Yeah, well, great friends don't act the way you two have been acting when Sam isn't around." Vinnie said, wagging her eyebrows with a smirk on her face. All the girls didn't like Sam—Sue was too good for him, and they all knew it. They've told Sue multiple times she should ditch him and leave him on the curb, but she had yet to do so.

"How do we act that makes you think that?" Emily asked. She already knew, but she loved entertaining the thought.

Vinnie and Jane both raised their eyebrow at Emily while chuckling, "Em—come on." Vinnie started, glancing over at Sue as she spoke, "We walked in on you two last weekend at the bar in the bathroom and I might be mistaken, but it looked like you two were about to make out."