✓ SIX THIRTY ━ johnny suh

. . . . chapter forty-six.

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✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩

SONG OF THE DAY :
the other woman - lana del rey

. . . . . .

[ what really happened ]

"why are you here?"

to the least of his expectations, youngho's beloved ex-lover had been knocking on his actual apartment's door.

he was internally cursing for two main reasons. one, he'd already moved on from that woman. two, if she knocks for too long, the landlord right beside the unit might get disturbed and see the commotion for himself resulting to him approaching her, then details might be expounded.

who knows, she might've had his phone tracked. she could possibly say, "not here? but on my find my iphone app, it says he's just inside this apartment complex?" boom. cover blown on top of seeing a face he was already beginning to erase from his memory.

as his final resort, he pulled her inside his and chia's unit, repetitively reminding her to make it quick. he received no verbal response to each attempt though.

"i've looked for you everywhere! i even asked jaehyun and ten." seoyeon set her matching glittery purse down the coffee table, sitting down on the side of the sofa. apart from her quick breathing, beads of sweat trickled down from her forehead. "how are you?"

youngho had no intention of responding. he leaned on an unoccupied wall, staring at her emptily.

"i'm sorry, jo," she said. "i have a lot of regrets about . . . that day. and i never got to explain myself to you. as a model i— i, uh, i thought— well i— i know nothing about love. about being loved. the people i've dated have always been rich old men who care about nothing but my body. but i don't care because, well, they pay me. i date for convenience.

"then i met you. and i thought you were just the same as those men. i thought you only cared about loveless sleeping together and being beside this well-dressed woman you can boast to your other rich friends during parties. so that night, when you started crying in front of me i— everything was just falling. you didn't go 'i thought you were fucking mine' or creepy possessive shit, you just, looked sad. i never knew you cared about me that way. i— i lost the greatest love i could ever have in my whole life and i realized it too late. i'm sorry.

"but you know, the reason why i'm here is not to sob over the past. i got this big modelling gig in new york! remember how we've talked about the dream to be scouted in that city? it's happened! and i never would've gone this far without you and your support. i took it for granted, but every once in a while, i feel it's still there. for that, i see this as our success."

he was doing great with plastering his unshakeable expression that was hard to read. she gulped, her legs bouncing. he was just there, staring into her soul.

this is driving me crazy. i think i'd rather have him cursing me out.

in reality

but he didn't want her back. not at all. his one true love was hasegawa chiasa, not jang seoyeon. the only person who had made him smile wider than he ever has was chia. the only person that had occupied his mind from night to day was chia.