✓ SIX THIRTY ━ johnny suh

. . . . chapter forty-five.

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SONG OF THE DAY :
loner    -    kali uchis

. . . . . .

"chiasa." she left the model's hand unshaken, arms crossed.

truth be told, chia couldn't care less about her. she painted no anger towards her. if the scenario was different, she would've showered her with compliments. but now, her flaming eyes were both fixated on her nervous-looking boyfriend. 

with her practiced rapid eye movement, seoyeon noticed the tension she was cornered by from how the couple were staring at each other.

she never wished for her arrival to seem so scandalous. everything she'd plan for the day was just for closure. she didn't even know he had a girlfriend! why has he never posted about her anyway?

nothing would be more perfect than walking away. she pursed her lips, forcing a nice smile while waving goodbye. "well . . . it was nice meeting you, chiasa. love the hair!"

youngho finally released the breath he held in for so long once the door closed with the two of them left, the quick sound of clacking heels fading away each second. he looked back at his girlfriend like he's had for the past ten minutes, standing up to greet her with crossed fingers.

"hey." he smiled.

she swallowed, expression still cold.

he despised being given the silent treatment ever since. it always made his heartbeat quicken triple times. now that his favorite person was giving it to him, he wanted to disintegrate.

to his initial relief, she spoke up after the anxiety-inducing quietude, facing him. said reaction died down when the words were spilled though. 

"you smell like fucking nicotine."

his words were stuck in his throat.

"you know, i think you forgot this is my unit. you don't have the right to fuck around in my home. jesus fuck," she continued, tone much more expressive of anger compared to the last.

chia herself was surprised from how aggressive she was with no build up. at that moment, it was as if she did not anymore used the help of her brain. she was just spewing words that felt right in the midst of heartbreak.

he shot his first attempt of making it up. "i'm sorry, i was put on the spot i-- oh, you remember the bet? about smoking again? i'll pay you twice, no, thrice the--"

"i don't care about your money. leave. right now."

his heart sank even deeper.

but he knew he couldn't leave just yet. he needed her more than anything. he couldn't just let himself lose her without a simple try in redemption.

"chia--"

"leave me the fuck alone! please! I mean it. i-- i was nothing but a rebound to you, right? is that it? fuck i'm . . . god. let's just-- let's break up."

that sentence alone struck something in him. it was like all his worst fears in one transformed into acidic raindrops and rained all above him and him alone. like a typhoon of some sort, even.

weakly he muttered, "no."

"yes. i'm not tolerating this, youngho. i know what i deserve and i know . . . i know where all this 'it's not what you think. please give me another chance' shit ends if i give in. i'm done. we're done." her voice cracked halfway. she noticeably blinked away the tears, fidgeting with her nails.

youngho did not have the willpower fight it and repeatedly nag anymore. especially when she was in that state while sober.

so much for not going without a fight.

with his head down and shoulders slumped, he approached the door, with a poor attempt of hiding his being choked up. for one last time, before she could lock up from inside, his eyes locked with hers that were emotionally identical in a way that they both reflected vulnerability. longing.

"i'm so sorry. sorry . . . sorry."

she was doing a good job in maintaining her blank face so far until a tear fell from her left eye. and another. and another.

she slammed the door right away to avoid breaking down in front of the man, sobbing with her back pressed to a near wall with the tormenting realization that she was alone. and she wanted it to happen. would things have been different if she listened? voices in her head would not hush and it was driving her mad.

fucking shit.

all was wasted. all the certainties them being each other's 'the one's were all gone. all his certainties of her finally being the woman he was going to grow old with and spoil for the rest of his life were gone. all her certainties of not anymore needing dating app hookups to feel a familiar sense of comfort since he was more than she ever asked the heavens for were gone.

all went to nothing.

they haven't even been a 'thing' for more than two weeks.

[ i know you all hate the miscommunication trope so i put it here for that very reason because i love seeing people's blood boil ]

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