For What Its Worth - poems

Mirror..

4-17-15

I stand in front of the mirror
and its going to happen here
another tear
and another wasted year
I give up and lose control
and in the process lose my soul
turn it to coal
stuffing myself in the face of a bowl
chowing down and for months on a downwards roll
when I look in the mirror I see what I hate
I've gained so much weight
and every day I wake
and wish what I saw in the mirror was fake
I cry without a sound
wish this reflection wasn't what I've found
and if I don't stay around
I'll be hell bound
yes being fat makes me sad
and if I died I'd be glad
because I feel so bad
and looking in the mirror makes me so depressed and mad
ever since I began packing on the weight
I've been in this disconnected state
and I starve myself and wait, for my body to become great
but then I eat again
until no end
often times thousands and thousands at one time
its the most terrible crime
with no reason or rhyme
but simply because I deprive
myself of the calories my binge body has been wanting
and the huge bloat belly after I'll be flaunting
because after in the toilet it would be launching
but I have no gag reflex so the toilet remains taunting
I guess I will have to gain
and suffer in pain
my mind in rain
and my soul on its way completely down the drain
I will try again
and see no end
I'm my only friend
and the only way to lose weight I'll occasionally to my head send
and try
without asking why
and do without a sigh
because after a while I won't look in the mirror and cry
something has to give
a need for me to content-fully live
and someday I'll forgive
myself for stooping so low and I'll never allow another mistake to have this for me to relive