𝙇 𝙄 𝘽 𝙀 𝙍 𝘼𝙏 𝙀 𝘿

19 L I B E R A T E D 19

19 L 19

I splashed the cold water over my face, staring at my eyes in the mirror. They were dark brown marbles in my head. Maybe smoking before this hadn't been my best plan. I gripped the counter, trying to keep myself steady. If I embarrass myself out here tonight, not only will I be hurting my mother, I'll be hurting myself.

Maybe Vonna's words did have some truth to them: I was selfish and greedy. And I was also a fool. I dried off my hands and made my way out of the bathroom, blinking every few moments to keep my vision clear.

"You can do this. You can do this."

I took a step out of the bathroom, and it felt like the world had dipped down. I felt like I was falling into the carpet, but I was still upright. I scrambled back into the bathroom, panting, my eyes wide with panic. I quickly pulled out my phone, feeling myself wheezing as the same thing started happening in the bathroom too.

Me: Vonna bathroom PLEADSER GHLP

A moment later, Vonna busted into the one-stall bathroom. "What the hell- Liberty!"

She lifted me off the floor. "The room's chasing me," I told her, my voice a scratchy, high pitch. "Vonna, we're falling in."

She scooped me up, pressing me against her as she frantically looked around the bathroom, as if it had the answers.

"God. I'm so telling your mom about your dumb stealing. You didn't even try to uphold your part of the deal."

"Please, please," I grabbed at her chest.

"The only way I can help you is if we leave. That means you have to walk out there like you're fine. I don't care if you see your dead aunt, you smile at people and you don't look like you're strung up on somebody's drug," she ordered.

"I'll try."

She gently settled me down onto my feet and we practiced walking with me leaning partially against her for a few minutes. "You think you got it?"

"Yeah," I said, looping my arm through hers.

"One, two-

"I forgot to use the bathroom!" I blurted out.

"Jesus, Liberty. Go," Vonna grumbled.

Vonna awkwardly turned away while I crouched over the toilet seat.

"It's hard for me to pee when other people are around me," I admitted.

"I reallyyy didn't need to know that, Liberty."

I finished up and washed my hands.

"I just can't keep my mouth closed. I can't even lie," I touched my lips. "Anything I think seems to fly right out." My eyes travelled to hers and I immediately tore them away.

She looked like she wanted to say something but she decided against it. "C'mon. Just make sure not to think while you're out here. Remember: We're telling our parents that you're feeling sick and I'm taking you to your home," she told me.

"I think that won't work," I clapped my hands over my mouth. "I didn't want to say that, but I can't stop talking," I apologized. "But I don't really mean my apology-

"Liberty," Vonna snapped.

"We should go. Our parents are probably looking for us," I said.

"Yeah. Let's go."

Vonna and I somehow made it across the venue to find my mom, then hers. We successfully headed out of the building, A'livia delivering me a concerned look near the doors.

"I like to smoke when I don't want to deal with my emotions," I told Vonna as we got into her mother's car.

"Can't relate. I'd rather be able to breathe."

Vonna locked the doors and got ready to turn the car on. "I still breathe after I smoke," I told her, going into a fit of giggling. Vonna paused, I guess forgetting about starting the car.

"Why...Why do you steal?"

I tried to cover my mouth, knowing that I was too out of it to hide my many truths and lies. She slowly moved my hands away from my mouth. "It makes me feel good about myself because I feel like no one will want me. I'm insecure about myself. I don't like myself. It's something that I can control. I know it's bad but I still do it because I honestly don't care. It's the feeling behind stealing. Each thing is mine, and it's like a baby to me. Today, in the room," she held down my hands as I tried to cover my mouth, "I realized that it's the risk taking that I actually enjoy, not the stealing. I thrive off that adrenaline. And when we were in the room I thought you were cu-

I struggled against her grip.

"You thought I was what?" she stared intently at me.

"I thought-

I tried to shake my head to keep the words from coming out. "C'mon, finish the sentence," Vonna pleaded.

"I thought you were cute," I blurted out, "and I was sad that you were mad at me because I stole from your store. I thought my friends would realize that I was cool and that I didn't have a stealing problem if I could steal from a store nobody had successfully stolen from before. Even though that logic doesn't make sense. I also thought you were cute the first time I saw you at the Ronalds' event."

Vonna looked away.

"Liberty, I think you should drink some water. So you can...feel better. I should have never asked you anything. It wasn't my place to. Especially when you don't have any control over yourself right now."

Vonna fished out a water bottle that wiggled in the lighting of the street lights shining into the dim car.

She helped me drink it. After I was done, Vonna silently started the car and began to drive me home.

Her hands found the jazz station, and the next thing I knew, I was fast asleep against the window.