𝙇 𝙄 𝘽 𝙀 𝙍 𝘼𝙏 𝙀 𝘿

27 L I B E R A T E D 27

27 L 27

"So how are we gonna make this work?"

I looked up from my cauliflower. "Make what work?"

"How are we gonna get you to stop...you know, with your problem? This is a team effort, you know. Me and Vonna got your back," A'livia said.

"I...stole today," I admitted to my best friend quietly. "I had promised Vonna that I wouldn't and then I did. I'm uncontrollable. I- I don't know why I can't stop. I want to now. I feel like it's worth it...to stop now." I didn't mention Vonna being there.

"It's definitely worth it, I just don't know what we can do. Me or Vonna can't just watch you everywhere. And, no offense, but obviously you have some trouble controlling yourself. We can't trust that you'll just stop, otherwise, you would have been done dat."

"Yeah," I look down at my food in shame.

"I was thinking...maybe you could try a program?"

"A program," I scoffed, immediately frowning. "I don't have any interest spewing out my business to other people. Telling people secrets only gives them more leverage over you."

"Do you really think that, Liberty?" A'livia frowned, concern heavy in her eyes.

"Yes. You tell a person a secret, they'll wait to use it against you in your weakest moment," I shrugged. "That's why I wanted to keep my secret hidden for so long."

"Did you seriously- No, do you seriously think that me or Vonna, or hell, even Jeredine, would use your secret against you? Liberty, we're your friends. We fucking care about you. Yeah, there's some people in the world who might manipulate you and backstab you, but you can't live life thinking that everyone's gonna do that to you. None of us ever would."

"It's hard opening up. I was never the type of person who was open with her feelings and her most hidden thoughts. I just always found that silly. But...I guess your words hold some truth to them."

"Friends tell each other secrets, okay?"

That wouldn't be the first time someone had told me that, I thought, thinking of Vonna. "Fine, so let's say I did agree to do this program thingy, how the hell would I hide this from my parents?"

"You wouldn't. You have got to tell them, Liberty."

"Easy for you to say! You don't have black parents, A'livia. A stealing problem? I feel like they just barely accepted the fact that I didn't like penis. How do you think they'd react if they found out I was potentially fucking over our family's name ever time I stole in Aster Waters? My mother would never let me go...not with her business taking off the way that it is now," I sighed at the end.

"Liberty, I know that I can't relate to you on a lot of levels but you won't know until you try. Yeah, telling them might mean no more fun for you until you graduate, or whatever punishment your parents think of, but I feel like all of that would be worth it just so you could get help. You need it, Liberty. You need their support too, if they're willing to give it."

"I'll try. I just don't even know where to start," I sighed. "Liberty. Can I tell you something?" I looked up into A'livia's eyes. "I used to have a cutting problem back in middle school. Nobody even noticed. One day, I would've ended it all, but something in me...some last little piece of me that held onto the hope of life, told me I should call my mother. Throughout my life, I had watched my mother put down people with mental issues and try to create this perfect illusion of a good family to the rest of my relatives. But on that phone call, all of the trauma and hurtful things that she learned from her mother and her mother's mother was erased. It was just mother and daughter on the cell phone that day. Me with bloody wrists, talking to her with my heart, in pain. In agony. And she heard me. I never thought she would, but sometimes people surprise you in the scariest moments, Liberty."

A'livia stood up, her eyes sad but her hands shaking.

"If you don't fix you, who else will?" she told me.

A'livia walked off to the bathrooms, taking in noticeably deep breaths. I stared at my food, letting my hands fall from the edge of the table to my lap.

If I don't fix things...who will?