Lie to Me

Fear of Falling

Just her name sent my stomach into knots. I couldn't answer. I continued taking off my clothes and putting my favorite t-shirt on when the phone rang. Emily. Again. My heart sunk. Not tonight. I can't do this tonight. I ignored it and went to get a glass of water and aspirin.

It was nearing one am when I heard a pounding at the door. Having just collapsed on my bed, I stormed down the hall and looked through the peephole.

"what are you doing here?" I asked annoyed as I opened the door.

"I called you" she barked.

"Emily, it's late, I was sleeping." I huffed.

"Bullshit"

I furrowed my eyebrows,

"excuse me?"

"This is about Heather isn't it?"

"what? No" I scoffed and walked further into the kitchen.

"Don't lie to me!" she yelled.

"Emily, let it go. I'm fine."

"You're not fine. Everything changed three weeks ago. I'm not an idiot."

I pinched the bridge of my nose as I thought of what to even say.

"What? Don't have anything to say now? You always do this, you shut out anyone who even remotely tries to get close to you. I'm supposed to be your friend." her voice grew more and more frustrated.

"You should go Emily. Heather's probably waiting." I sighed.

She threw her hands in the air,

"This is exactly what I'm talking about! And you wonder why nobody can get close to you."

Tears immediately began to swell as I turned to her.

"did you really have to be so honest" I said under my breath. "Let yourself out" I scoffed before I took off down the hall.

My bedroom door slammed behind me and the tears began to fall. What am I doing to myself? Not only will I ruin our friendship if I keep this up, but I'll ruin the dynamic at work. I need to let it go. I need to get over her.

"Y/n?" she knocked on the bedroom door. "can you please let me in?"

I wiped my eyes before cracking the door.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm just worried." her soft eyes were not making getting over her any easier.

"I'm fine, I've just been under a lot of stress, but I'm fine." I brushed it off.

"What's bothering you?" her hand went to my shoulder and it took every cell in my body not to pull her into me.

"Just some personal stuff" I lied.

"It's not about Heather?" she asked sounding almost surprised.

"nope." another lie.

"Um, let me know if there's anything I can do" she mumbled before walking towards the door. "I'll see myself out. Get some rest."

The moment I heard that front door close I started to cry. I cried for the situation. I cried for my stubbornness and her obliviousness. I cried because I knew I would never know what it was like to be loved by her. And that's the last thing I remember before falling asleep.

NEXT DAY AT WORK:

"It's bad." JJ sighed as we gathered around the table. "Just south of Virginia, a couple, Dave and Nancy Hardmon were murdered along with another couple at a dinner party in their house last night."