50 Shades of Drake 3 and 4

Torn: Chapter Thirty-Nine

AUBREY GRAHAM: Lunch in thirty minutes?

    Destiny, who'd barely left her office for any reason, stared at Aubrey's instant message on her computer monitor. For the better part of the morning, she'd sorted through her thoughts and emotions, and replayed her conversations with Aubrey to determine whether or not she'd been too impatient with him. Ultimately, she felt like she had a reason to be angry with him.

    But the look he had on his face when I was standing in front of him in the living room...he looked like he was two seconds from completely breaking down. That look he had on his face...I can't get it out of my mind. Am I pushing the marriage and children topic too hard? She read and reread his message, tapping her fingernails on the top of her desk. If two men are competing for me, I feel entitled to knowing what my future would be like with each of them. Even without Brian in the picture, I feel like if something is bothering Aubrey to the extent it was earlier this morning, he should talk to me about it. Is that wrong of me, to expect him to talk to me when something is bothering him?

    She placed her hands over the keyboard.

DESTINY RICHARDS: I'm just going to take a short lunch today.

AUBREY GRAHAM: Are you still mad at me?

DESTINY RICHARDS: Yes.

    "AUBREY GRAHAM is typing..." blinked in the message box, then disappeared, then reappeared, then blinked off again. Several minutes passed before his response actually came through.

AUBREY GRAHAM: I'm sorry. I hate knowing that I pissed you off.

    She turned her head and stared out of the window. She could imagine him, sitting at his computer, nervously checking for her responses. When she closed her eyes, she could picture the tense expression on his face.

AUBREY GRAHAM: I want to talk to you. I want to be open with you, about everything.

DESTINY RICHARDS: So be open with me.

AUBREY GRAHAM: I can't. Not about this. Not yet.

    Destiny rolled her eyes and typed furiously.

DESTINY RICHARDS: Then when, Aubrey? The contract you drew up gives a two month period of time.

    He didn't respond, and she didn't know if it was because he didn't know how to or if there was a valid reason, such as a phone call coming in.

DESTINY RICHARDS: After this morning, I feel like you're just giving up. I feel like you don't care who wins anymore. If you did, you would just...talk to me.

    Still no response.

    She drew an arm across her eyes, and moved the message box to the side of her computer desktop so that she could continue working. Five minutes went by, and he still hadn't responded. Tears filled her eyes, but she didn't allow that to stop her from working.

    The door to her office opened, and Aubrey stood in the doorway.

    A tear slid down her cheek as she turned her gaze to him. She slowly stood up from her desk.

    He tilted his head to the side, stepped into her office, and closed the door at his back. "Conversations this important shouldn't be conducted through an instant messaging system," he said softly after locking the door.

    "Agreed," she said, wiping at the tears on her cheeks.

    He walked up to her and grabbed at the outer edges of the hood she'd pulled back up. "Do you really think I don't care who wins this?"

    "That's what it feels like," she told him.

    He took another step closer to her.

    She backed up against her desk.

    He lowered his head and, while holding onto the outer edges of her hood, kissed her.

    As upset as she was, she still allowed herself to get lost in the kiss. She allowed herself to get lost in the taste of his lips and his tongue, and the scent of his cologne. Hesitantly, she kissed him back, desperately seeking that bubble that used to surround them whenever they kissed, the impenetrable bubble that seemed to make all of their problems just fade away. That bubble never came. She broke off the kiss. "Good sex or a steamy makeout session isn't going to fix this."

    He frowned. "I know that."

    She folded her arms across her chest.

    "I understand why you're frustrated with me," he said. "You should be frustrated with me. You're right. By now, I should be able to talk to you and open up to you. I told you I would open up, and I should stand by that. I should make more of an effort."

    More tears rolled down her cheeks, and she quickly wiped them away.

    "There is something I want to remind you, though, Destiny," he said, looking down at her. "Last year, when I met you, I was broken. Four months ago, when I brought you here, I was still very much broken. You managed to gather all of those pieces of me up and put those pieces back together. But... the glue on those pieces isn't dry yet. I'm still working on myself, still working to be better for you. Still working to be the best man I can be for you. For years, I've lived this life where I didn't have to be open about my feelings with anyone. I shut down. I was a closed book to any woman who tried to get close to me. As much as I want to open up to you...about everything...there are still some things that I'm working out."

    "We should call off the contest until you work them out," she stated.

    He shook his head. "We all signed a contract."

    "A contract that says I can terminate at any time," she pointed out.

    "A contract that says you can terminate at any time by making a decision," he elaborated.

    She bowed her head down.

    He touched her cheek. "What are you thinking?"

    More tears were falling, and she didn't want him to see them. "I'm thinking...that we really need to call off this arrangement," she said, her voice choked up with emotion.

    He tilted her chin up. "Why do you think we should call it off?"

    "Because until you open up to me, and I mean really open up to me, there is no way I would choose you," she said, looking at him with sad eyes.