Puns.3

✿Day #166: A l m o s t H a l f W a y T h e r e puns

✿Day #166: A l m o s t & H a l f & W a y & T h e r e puns

☼Two frogs were asked if they were lying. 

☺They almost got away with it, but one croaked.

☼Things can go either way at a kissing gate.

☺There were charges given to the person who freed the angry bull.

☼When all my electrical engineering friends at the baseball game did the wave,

☺it was almost like having a phased-hooray.

☼If you spend too long commuting every day half your job is line dancing and brake dancing.

☺Tacks have a very pin point way of hurting.

☼He was teed off with his bad start, driving the ball almost beyond the green,  

☺but he was able to putt it behind him.

☼He was a nuclear physicist for a half-life.

☺Herb gardeners who work extra get thyme and a half.

☼We almost got creamed by a milk truck. 

☺I was udderly terrified.

☼I almost got my haircut then I thought I'd mullet over first.

☺When the prisoner died just before his parole they put him in a halfway hearse.

☼He was almost persuaded to invest in a poultry farm, 

☺but chickened out at the last minute.

☼While delivering 1000 gallons of dark pigment, he almost painted, then blacked out.

☺Issue of first day cover almost ended in a stampede.

☼The place that made rubber balls almost went bankrupt, 

☺but they bounced back.

☼My calculator is broken. 

☺It was divided in half.

☼Even though the chef's girlfriend was grate in many ways. 

☺She had a temper that boiled easily, was half-baked and extremely kneady.

☼A man was driving on an icy, abandoned road when he noticed a road sign with half of it torn clean off. 

☺'That's a bad sign' he thought to himself.

☼I stink at fractions. 

☺I'm not half as good as the class.

☼I got a great bargain the other day when I bought a forklift for half-price.

☺It's amazing what you can pick up these days..

☼Even though the chef's girlfriend was grate in manyways. 

☺She had a temper that boiled easily, was half-baked and extremely kneady.

☼It's tough to know exactly what some philosophers looked like. 

☺Sometimes the only way might be to ex-Hume them.

☼Although there were bombs everywhere at the party, 

☺it was still a blast.

☼When our fraternity voted whether or not to permit alcohol,

 ☺there was not a dry aye in the house.

☼The bank robber looked so peaceful and innocent lying there under his big fluffy blanket. 

☺Just goes to show you, you can't judge a crook by his cover.

[HEY AND WELCOME TO THIS NEW PUN BOOK! In this honor, feel free to add me on snapchat: whenurshipsinks c: ]

[p.s. which ever letter is bolded next to the smiley face is the continuation sentence of the one above it c:]