chapter 20

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She fished her room key out of her purse and keyed up her phone, hearing the steady ping as the notifications loaded

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She fished her room key out of her purse and keyed up her phone, hearing the steady ping as the notifications loaded.

She kicked off her shoes at the door and threw the phone on the bed as she stripped and washed for bed. 

She missed the phone calls as she finished pulling on her old tee shirt and shorts.  She stood staring at herself in the mirror.

She fisted her hands in the oversize shirt with the logo from the last dorm they had lived in.  She buried her face in the in the hem to see if some trace of him, of them, still lingered there. 

A tear slipped down her face as she found no physical traces.  All she had were memories. 

But she blinked.  His presence, his scent still lingered in the air around her.  It was not some old trigger or her imagination  She could still smell, could still feel him, flesh and bone, real after all this time, standing just at the tips of her fingers.

She hugged her arms tightly around herself and headed to bed, her mind already drifting between dreams and reality.

Then she picked up her phone.  She had only intended to charge it.  All her team had been with her.  There was no need to check messages this late.

But then she noticed several messages and a missed call from Olivia.  Her heart dropped.

She sat on the bed and opened the messages  watching as the images uploaded.

The first was the group picture they took as they left for the party.

Olivia had responded, “ My team!! All so beautiful and talented!! I am so proud of all of you.”

The next picture was from the party.  It was a shot of the group gathered around, drinking and laughing with the host team.

Izzy's first reaction was a smile.  It was a good depiction of how well they had all worked together.

Then she noticed the left hand side of the photograph.  She and Rege were standing close together.  He was bending toward her, whispering in her ear.  Her face was in shadows, but it appeared to be a very intimate conversation.  Olivia would definitely have picked up on that.

Liv had liked the photo and commented , “ looks like everyone is having such a good time!! I am jealous! I KNEW I should have gone! It's not too late, right? Lol"

Izzy's stomach flipped.  And then she noticed the last pic loading.

It was a video of the stragglers and smokers outside the hotel just a short while ago.  The group was gathered, smiling and throwing hand gestures to the camera, laughing and sending messages back home. 

It was a video of the perfect end of a fun night out, capturing the evening with a fun and tipsy memory. Except, that was not all it captured.

In the background was the black luxury car that had been her ride home. 

Hobi stood by the open door and he tightly held her hand as she stepped out.  She watched herself step close to him and held her breath as she saw the scene as the viewer would. 

Her head tilted to him, his dark head bent down.  Even now the thought fluttered in the back of her head, “ Will he kiss me?”

She could see the longing and connection between them.  There was zero chance Olivia would miss that.

She had marked the video with a heart and commented “ so much fun, sooo sweet! Now go to bed! You still have work to do!”

And she had called Izzy privately right after.  She stared at her phone, refusing to listen to the voice-mail, not even considering calling Liv back.  She was not ready to have that conversation.

She refused to allow Olivia into her head to ruin tonight or confuse her feelings.  She deserved at least tonight to sort things out herself.

But even as she claimed that for herself, her phone buzzed with a text.

It was another pic, this time just her and Hobi.  He was handing her a drink and their fingers were touching.  They both had huge smiles and apparently eyes only for each other.

Even though she knew it was taken tonight, it could have been a snapshot of them years ago.  It made her heart ache to see that raw emotion between them, neither of them aware- or willing to admit it was there.

“ You look beautiful tonight. And Hobi is a dream.  He has aged magnificently.  I knew he would.  This reminds me how much I miss him.” Olivia texted. Izzy continued to real, a sickening feeling stole over her as she did.

“He is a beautiful soul Izzy, you know that.  He deserves only the best.  Please be careful. You know he will only end up with a broken heart if he finds out.”

“We can’t do that to him again"


Izzy turned her phone off, resisting the urge to slam it into the wall, throw it out the window, anything to erase the words written there.

She plunged the room into darkness and flung herself on the bed, welcoming the tears that rained down her face.

Tonight was supposed to be a night she dreamed of new hope, new possibilities.  Instead she knew there would be no sleep for her until exhaustion claimed her.

Instead, just like she had done countless times before, she would start at the beginning and comb every detail she could remember.

Maybe this time she could determine where she went wrong.

Hoseok sank back in the car and asked the driver to take them to their favorite bar.

“Ok, what gives? There were some serious undercurrents between you two all night,” Jimin said,  not missing the darkness in his friend’s face.

“It’s a long story,” Hobi sighed, turning toward the window,  trying to sort things out in his mind.

“Well, since suddenly we are going drinking and you are buying.  I have nothing but time,” Jimin responded, his tone teasing, but his offer sincere. 

Hobi looked at his dear friend and decided this was a mess and he needed help. 

Jimin was an expert in cutting through the bs and distilling the story down to the truth.  Maybe he could help.  So he started at the point that always left him a bit confused.






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