One Day At a Time ✔️

Ch. 20 Frustration

Ratchet's P.O.V.
This is not how I wanted to get Jamie to talk. The challenge is still to get her to say more than a word. I'll never be able to figure out why she's refusing to talk. It's not that amie enjoys all the care she needs, and she's not getting more attention from Crosshairs and Drift. Those three are together most of the time, anyway. 

I see how bad Drift's stupid move has affected Jamie; she is frightened. She's always had the fear we'd tire of her struggles and abandon her, but this is more like afraid an undercover soldier is waiting to take her back to the so-called psychiatric hospital.
There's not much we can do about this. 

Crosshairs' P.O.V.
I'm glad Jamie is eating, even if it's a little, and she's still unable to eat much before getting full. With Ratchet's approval, I got a treat that I know Jamie will love. 
"Look what I have."
I show Jamie the cookie I got before breaking a small piece off and putting it in her mouth.  
I'm glad she wants more. This is a good step in her recovery. She can tolerate food that requires chewing and is not afraid she might choke. I don't like how my little warrior friend is now like a young child. Worse, this could be due to severe brain damage and permanent, but I worry about how much mental damage is permanent? Is the fact Jamie won't talk unless upset permanent?

Drift tries to get Jamie in the wheelchair so we can take her for a walk, but she's terrified to let go of Drift.
"Nice going!" Sunstreaker scolds.
"What did you do?" Bee asks.
I get Jamie to let go of Drift, so I can take her to our room while Drift deals with this mess.

It's a challenge, but I take Jamie for a walk carrying her. She's doing good with the speaking valve, but I still need to carry the oxygen concentrator. 

Drift is in the room when I walk in thirty minutes later. He takes Jamie into the bathroom, and he must be giving her a bath. Though I think it's more to help her relax, I fear she's been depressed and not caring about taking care of herself.

Drift walks out of the bathroom forty-five minutes later, carrying Jamie, who is half asleep. He had already dressed her before coming out of the bathroom and lays her in bed. He lays with her until she's asleep.
"This is a disaster," Drift sighs.
You made it worse this morning. 
Even though I said nothing, I watch Drift leave the room.
You shouldn't have left, Drift.

Two hours pass before Jamie abruptly wakes up and looks around the room.
Oh fuck.
I quickly text Drift before sitting on the bed and moving Jamie on my lap.
"He'll be back," I assure her as she hugs me.

Not even a minute passes before Drift rushes in, sits next to me, and moves Jamie onto his lap. Tears roll down her face as Drift moves in a slow rocking motion. 

A few minutes pass before Drift puts Jamie in the wheelchair. She's tired and not fighting him, but she's fighting sleep.
"Let's see if a walk will help," he says to cover Jamie with a blanket. I put my boots on and go with them.
As we walk down the hall toward the elevator, I see Drift is troubled by what happened today. 

A half-hour walk does the trick; Jamie is back to sleep. I watch Drift put her to bed before laying next to her.
I know you're tired of this. How bad things are for Jamie. I hope she can recover. I don't think I can deal with our little warrior being like this for much longer. She didn't deserve this. Just wait, Megatron; the next time we cross paths, you're dead.

Drift's P.O.V.
Jamie is irritated today. We've had a couple of days like this already, but this is rough. She doesn't care that the others see this as she fights to get free from my hold in the cafeteria. I know she wants to go somewhere to remove the trach, and I worry she'll fly off to find Megatron. 
What's going on? Yesterday you didn't want to let go of me; now you're trying to get away from me.

I put the speaking valve on before we came down to the cafeteria. I hate hearing how frustrated she is. Jamie quickly gives up, hugs me, and cries. I don't think she's aware she's made a scene in the cafeteria. The others watch, heartbroken at how this is affecting Jamie. They want to help but don't want to cause Jamie to realize she's made a scene. 
Crosshairs mouths for us to leave. He puts our breakfast on the tray before going upstairs to our room.
Hearing Jamie's crying, I think she's been holding frustration in for some time, and now it's all coming out. 

Crosshairs can put the oximeter on and monitor Jamie's oxygen level. She's been crying for twenty minutes now, and her oxygen level is staying up. 

Jamie's P.O.V.
I'm tired of this. They already take care of me when I deal with flare-ups and my mental shit. They don't need extra work, and I should have left a long time ago before I got sick. I know they're tired of the work they need to do to take care of me.

Drift's P.O.V.
Crosshairs and I look at each other. We realize why Jamie is crying. I don't know if I like the crying more than Jamie telling me she hates how much we've been taking care of her. 
"She'd be crying even if she wasn't refusing to talk," Crosshairs reminds me.  
She's frustrated, yet she gave up trying to get away and has a tight hold on me like yesterday. I lie on the bed with Jamie on top of me. Crosshairs lies on his side next to me, monitoring Jamie's oxygen level. Jamie is calming down, but tears still roll down her face.
"You know how much we care about you," Crosshairs says as he rubs her back, "how much Drift loves you."
A few minutes pass before Jamie falls asleep.
"She's doing better. Only dropped to 90%," Crosshairs comments.
Ok, 90% is still low, but her level would drop to 80%-85%.
"We still need to put her in oxygen when she sleeps."
I remove the speaking valve, re-inflate the cuff, and connect the oxygen tube.
"I love you and will never leave you," I whisper as I cover Jamie with a blanket and kiss her.

Crosshairs and I eat our breakfast before I tube feed Jamie. Crosshairs insists I take a walk as Jamie will be asleep for at least another hour.
I hope this shit ends soon and Jamie fully recovers.