One Day At a Time ✔️

Ch. 46 Limited Recovery

Sunstreaker's P.O.V.
I watched Crosshairs and Drift leave the room, Drift looking upset. Don't tell me it was another rough morning. Even if Jamie has the speaking valve on the trach and her oxygen level is good? 
You know how much Drift worries about her. Sideswipe reminds me. And Crosshairs acts like this doesn't bother him as much as it bothers Drift.
I hate he's still doing that. Not sure if Jamie is doing ok that we can take her for the day.

Two hours of fun still tires Jamie out.
"Let her sleep," Drift tells us as we watch Jamie not care where she is and get comfortable on the couch. 
"You want us to watch her?" I ask.
"No," Drift replies, "she's been needing more care and I know she's embarrassed about it."
Damn it, how many more challenges can Jamie's guardians take?
Sideswipe and I watch the two leave, Drift carrying Jamie.

Crosshairs' P.O.V.
"Let me take her," I insist, seeing Drift wrap Jamie in her red blanket after putting her on oxygen.
"No."
I get him to sit in the bed with me. It hasn't even been three months since Jamie woke up from the coma, but she's been through so much scrap. She might fully recover in six months, but it'll be rough. It's the struggle watching her, worrying she can't fully recover that's hard.
A few minutes pass before Drift lies Jamie on the bed, and tube feeds her before we go get lunch.

Everyone is worried something else happened to Jamie. We know how serious a kidney infection is. Not sure if telling them Jamie is asleep, and we decided not to put her in the wheelchair is enough for them even if it's true. I know Drift doesn't want the others to know about the rest of the scrap we're dealing with.
Jamie will be embarrassed if everyone knows. Which is going to make letting others see her a challenge. They don't know the conversation we had with Jamie a few days ago and the result of the conversation.
I get Drift to go for a walk around the park with me.

Ratchet's P.O.V.
As I read the text from Crosshairs telling me he got Drift to go for a walk, Jamie wakes up. She looks around the room before looking at me. 
"They'll be back," I assure her, taking her hand.
I don't see fear in her eyes, but she's always struggled with fearing we'd abandon her. How long before she panics?
I watch Jamie carefully get her tablet from the end table and finds something to do.
I couldn't resist taking a picture and sending it to her guardians. She lets me put the speaking valve on, but I don't think she'll say anything. I get a small bottle of apple juice and put it on the table before going back to my office across the hall.

To my surprise, Crosshairs and Drift stayed out for an hour. Jamie is asleep when they walk into the room. I don't have to tell them her temperature went up a little yet. She has a list of reasons to tire this quickly without doing much. They like hearing that Jamie wanted to do something on her tablet rather than just lay in bed until she fell asleep.
Unfortunately, things weren't all great. As I'm leaving the room, we notice tears rolling down Jamie's face. I know what her guardians are thinking. It's hard to know what to do with Jamie's complicated mental struggle. They need a break but her mind ends up dreaming they left. It's easy to get her to wake up, but I hate how she curls up on Drift as he sits on the recliner. I don't think there's anything psychiatrists at the hospital can do, but I'm going to ask.

Crosshairs' P.O.V.
This is worse than Jamie's typical rough days. Even after what Drift and I told her this morning. I can tell Drift just wants to run out of the room to cry without Jamie knowing, but that will add to the problem. I know she wouldn't have fully recovered mentally from what she's been through in seventy-seven days, but I fear we added to her mental wounds. As if she wasn't struggling before that fragging asylum.
I don't like her startled reaction as I take her hand.
"Jamie, you're ok. We love you," I assure her.
It's hard to know what to say. Can we say she'll recover? Ratchet is certain he'll be removing the trach and G-tube eventually, but will she be able to recover mentally?

It's a challenging twenty minutes before Jamie is asleep. We watch Ratchet walk into his office, disappointed while we take care of Jamie. Drift sits in the recliner and sighs.
We don't even need to ask what he was told.
"How long before she runs off?" Drift asks, "and if she's not ready for the trach to be removed?"
"You need to calm down. Jamie will recover, but it'll be a long process."
I get him to stand up to hug him before getting him to lie on the other bed, knowing he'd quickly fall asleep.

"I take it things didn't go well?" I ask as I sit in front of Ratchet's desk.
"No," Ratchet sighs. The fact he isn't telling me what he was told isn't a good sign. The room is silent for some time, "the phycologists at the hospital believe Jamie can't recover mentally. I told them she's a soldier, her mental history, and what happened to her. They believe she's too hurt to fully recover. This is more due to what she's been dealing with for years. As for the mental wounds from being in the asylum; it'll take time. It's hard to tell how long, but the psychologists believe she'll recover from that scrap."
I see why this isn't exactly good news. Even if things will get easier if Jamie's mental state is as before she was sent to the asylum, it's hard to think our little friend will always fear we'll abdomen her. Ratchet isn't sure if I should tell Drift what he told me.
"Did you tell the psychiatrists what he believes?" I ask.
"Yes, I had to tell them about the complicated relationship. They worry Drift is right rather than it's fear he'll lose the one he loves. I told them we make sure somebot is with her. Tell Drift all this if you want. I don't think it's going to help him."

I sit on the recliner, seeing my two sleeping friends. Worried, what if Drift is right? Or that Jamie can't recover? It's bad enough recovery means pre asylum mental state. Surely those psychiatrists were told about Jamie's guilt as we care for her. It's no surprise there's no solution for that. Maybe reminding her we love her is the solution, but it's not working.
This is why I hide how I feel. They need my support.