One Day At a Time ✔️

Ch. 34 This Was His plan

Crosshairs' P.O.V.
I lucked out last night; Jamie is still not feeling well and can only cry, wondering where Drift is. She isn't awake for long either. Ratchet won't stop the drugs until tomorrow. I don't think Jamie can handle that, as she's already crying as I hold her. I'm not putting the speaking valve on. I unintentionally upset Jamie more by asking if she wants to go for a walk. Ratchet is not liking how Jamie is right now. Nothing I do is calming her down. The only good thing about her being sick is she's tired and crying tires her out faster.
"I told you this would happen," I tell Ratchet.
But I know Drift really needs to sleep.
"You want me to stop the drugs now?" He asks.
"I don't know...."
Even Ratchet isn't sure what to do. Jamie was upset, but not in distress. We don't want to watch her cry herself to sleep.

I sit by Drift, uncertain what to do.
"You are too stressed, and I hate watching you go through anxiety attacks, but Jamie needs you."
I don't know if his Energon signature changes when he has an anxiety attack, and Jamie senses it even though she's sick or panicking, wondering why Drift stopped coming by. I know Drift will struggle to sleep, so this might be the best sleep he gets for a while. It will be a long day — even if Jamie sleeps most of the time.

Ratchet stops the infusion early the next morning, but it'll be a few hours before Drift wakes up.

Jamie is getting more difficult than yesterday, trying to disconnect the oxygen tube from the trach. Drift has perfect timing walking into the room. He takes Jamie from me and hugs her close, careful of the oxygen tube and IV.
"Shh, I'm here."
He sits on the recliner, holding Jamie. I can't tell if he's pissed with what we did or not. It's my opportunity to get breakfast for both of us.

Drift's P.O.V.
I know I need to sleep, but I don't like the state Jamie is in, not seeing me for twenty-four hours. I don't like she's still burning up. Her recovery has stalled, which puts the rest of her recovery on hold. She's putting all her weight on me as she leans, which often means she's falling asleep. I lay her down, which she does not like.
"I'm not going anywhere."
I cover her with a blanket as she tries to sit up, and she gives up and starts crying. Even though she can't make a sound, I can tell this is frustration. I can't take her to lie on a medical berth with me. The fever has gone down but only to 102°. I watch Ratchet walk in, already prepared with a syringe.
"No, I'm not using drugs."
I pick Jamie up and hug her. It's a challenge with the oxygen tube but doable. I watch her heart rate go up a little while trying to calm her down. I don't know if she knows how long it's been or thinks it's been much longer than it has been, but she's frustrated she's not recovered yet. Jamie is also still sick and still tired quickly from crying. Still, I don't think she calmed as fast as Ratchet wanted. Her heart rate is elevated, and she's breathing faster as I watch her fall asleep.
"I know this is bad, but I'm tired of going right to drugs," I tell Ratchet as he listens to her heart and breathing.
"What worries me is how much would her oxygen level have dropped if she wasn't on oxygen," Ratchet explains and takes her hand, "she's getting better, but there's also so much more work, and she's getting frustrated."

Crosshairs walks in with breakfast, not liking he missed something. He insists I eat while Jamie is asleep. We're both worried this is taking a serious toll on her mental state, and she already struggles mentally. Unless...

Crosshairs' P.O.V.
"RATCHET!" I yell as I sit on my knees. This is not good for him to pass out easily. No way it's low Energon, "come on, wake up."
If he's using Energon this quickly, something else might be wrong with him.

I can only watch as Jolt and Ratchet take Drift to another room. The action takes a minute, and he doesn't wake up before the door is shut in my face. 

I sit by the bed, waiting for Jamie to wake up at the wrong time to add to my stress. Watching her twitch in her sleep isn't helping, either.
Please don't tell me his Energon signature is decreasing, and she senses it. 
A few minutes pass before Jolt tells me Drift wants me. Explaining that Drift had an anxiety attack when he woke up, and Ratchet struggles to get him to stay calm.
"Without drugs," he adds, sighing.
He leaves the room, likely getting drugs to be prepared.

"His plan is to push her to the point she wants to die," Drift says before needing to throw up.
At least I got the bin this time.
He could be right. As an alternative to Plan B: killing her, the mental toll could push her to want to die. Before Megatron got her again; she was tired of having the trach in, terrified of Jolt and Ratchet, and to talk.
Ratchet walks in but waits.
"She'll have us for support, and after finding out Megatron was behind this, I don't think she's afraid of them."
I take his hand and try to calm him down. 
Damn, was Drift one of your targets as well, Megatron?
Drift calms down and falls asleep.
"He's exhausted along with terrified," Ratchet observes.
"Can't use drugs either to have him sleep for a while," I sigh.
Unless we want Jamie panicking, not seeing Drift.
I stand by the bed, hating how skinny Jamie is, how she's still on oxygen and sick. She's still cold even though it's the summer. Covered as if it was winter and we had lost power.
"Really, her mental struggle before this scrap looks like nothing compared to what she's been dealing with," Ratchet sighs.
It's complicated; though the worst we see is crying, there are days she's crying for a long time.

Ratchet moves Jamie to a bigger room with two beds, though that area is used for patients who stay for a few hours or overnight.
"That will help both of them," Jolt adds.

We wait until Drift and Jamie are awake and decide to put the speaking valve on Jamie.
Ratchet advises not to get her to talk, but we can give her juice.

The two are awake two hours later, both liking the idea. We're prepared if Jamie can't tolerate the speaking valve for long. We can take her to the lounge room or to the cafeteria for dinner. She ends up with a coughing fit once the speaking valve is put on.
"This is good," Drift assures her as he rubs her back.
Once she's done coughing, Drift carries Jamie to the lounge room and puts her favorite movie on. She's ok with me putting the oximeter back on her finger. It's hard to watch her, wondering when she will talk? Though we don't know if she can keep her oxygen level up. 

I wait a few minutes before asking her if she wants juice, hoping she'll speak, but she doesn't say a word. She continues our method of saying yes. We were told not to try to make her talk, but I want to know why she won't. 

There's something about this scene; Drift holding Jamie wrapped in a blanket as she's drinking the juice and watching T.V. maybe it's how she looks like a child and is as short as a nine-year-old femme. She's distracted, and I can take a picture. Drift smiles as I get my phone out. It's a cute scene, but do we want to remember the trach? I'll ask Drift later if I should delete this.

We watch T.V. for an hour before I watch Jamie try to get comfortable on Drift. I text Ratchet about safety before letting Drift lay with Jamie, so the two can take a nap on the couch. I don't leave once Jamie is set up on the oxygen concentrator. I wait for the two to fall asleep and take a picture. This is rough, and I hope this ends soon.