One Day At a Time ✔️

Ch. 36 His Fear

Ironhide’s P.O.V.
We kept Jamie busy for four hours before she started worrying about her guardians not being around. I worry she knows they’re exhausted and is blaming herself. It’s better than thinking they left her, but still not great. It’s hard to know what Jamie will do. Some days, she refuses to go with others to do something — unless it’s a battle or on a mission. There’s a reason for that, and we hate it more than how it makes her seem so clingy. Even though they had a six-hour nap, we agreed not to wake them up. 

Ten minutes pass before they both walk in. Drift picks Jamie up and hugs her as he walks out of the room.
“What happened?” Sunstreaker asks, genuinely concerned.
“He struggles to get any sleep, even though she’s doing better,” Crosshairs sighs, “Ratchet discovered he had been crying when we thought he was sleeping for a half-hour. I don’t know what Ratchet did to get him to sleep.”
We all go get dinner, though Crosshairs wants to find Drift first.

Crosshairs’ P.O.V.
I worry about Drift. I don’t blame him for being worried about the girl he loves, but it’s a problem when he can’t sleep.  

I find Drift in Ratchet’s office. I assume he’s asking if Jamie can eat food. I step into the office in case there’s a problem.
“.... slowly,” Ratchet finishes as I stand next to Drift, “she’s getting better, Drift, but it will take time.”
We get Jamie from Jolt in his office, leave the medbay and head to the cafeteria.

When I walk to the table with our dinners, I see the terror twins and Ironhide have joined Drift and Jamie. I can’t believe Sunstreaker is letting Jamie sit on him.
“You need to eat,” Sunstreaker comments as Drift tries to take Jamie from him.
I made Jamie a little oatmeal, since we don’t know how much she’ll eat. 
Everyone at the table watches, amazed Sunstreaker knows what to do to be gentle and get Jamie to eat. He knows to go slow, allowing himself to eat while getting Jamie to eat. Sunstreaker worries about how the small amount of oatmeal is enough for her. Ratchet isn’t worried; he’s already explained this is normal since Jamie has been sick most of the time since she woke up from the coma; there’s no damage to her stomach or digestive system. 
“You want to come with us to our room?” Sideswipe asks.
I should have told them not to attempt to get Drift to have a night off, and his night away from Jamie will not be relaxing. I can already tell he wants to tell them ‘no,’ but he can’t when Jamie says yes — even if she’s not talking.

Sunstreaker’s P.O.V.
I know Drift is a panicking mess, but he needs a break and to sleep better than he has. I don’t think I can care for Jamie overnight, but I’m hoping Drift will be asleep before I bring her back to their room. 
“Are you sure you can handle her?” Crosshairs asks as we let Drift have time with Jamie.
“Does she get fed more often? I had to deal with the oxygen tube already.”
“No, Ratchet has said nothing about tube feeding more often. You need to watch her oxygen level closely.”
I can tell he’s stressing not having Jamie with them. I don’t know if he’s worried about how difficult Jamie can be or how Drift will be. I tell Crosshairs I hope to bring her back asleep after Drift is asleep.
“...he oddly knew when she..you know, I’m hoping he’ll know she’s in bed with him and stay asleep.”
“I don’t know; not even sleeping in the room next door helped him.”
Damn, he’s traumatized by this.
“She’ll likely be asleep soon, maybe before he’s asleep, which might help even better.”

I carry Jamie to my room, already noticing she’s getting tired. She’s doing well with the speaking valve on the trach; it’s been five hours. Though she’s been calm and not talking. 

I put her on the couch and checked her oxygen level. It’s decreasing, but not concerning yet. Sideswipe is happy to have a video gaming partner. I get my sketchpad and sit with them to monitor Jamie’s oxygen level.
The lightning is perfect for taking a picture of the two and sketching the scene, but I doubt anyone wants to remember this.

The two play video games for two hours before Jamie is exhausted but trying not to sleep. This doesn’t last long before she’s asleep on me since I couldn’t get her to relax in a bed.
“Now what?” Sideswipe asks.
“Time to take her back to Crosshairs and Drift,” I tell him as I remove the speaking valve and connect the oxygen tube. I stand up, holding Jamie, and Sideswipe puts the bag on my shoulder. 

“She did fine,” I tell Crosshairs as we watch Drift put Jamie to bed, “played video games with Sideswipe. I just put her on oxygen since she’s asleep. I hope he’ll finally be able to sleep.”
There are two other beds as all rooms have four beds that can fold onto the wall, but Sideswipe and I leave the room.

Crosshairs’ P.O.V.
Drift is happy to have Jamie in our room. I don’t care that he phased me out as I watch him go to bed as if I’m not here.
Hopefully, you’ll sleep tonight. 

I wake up to Drift taking care of Jamie. Considering what he’s doing, he woke up twenty minutes ago. I look at the time and see we’ve actually slept late; it’s ten in the morning. I can’t get used to seeing how her clothes are too big on her. At least she’s not freezing, but she’s still struggling to stay warm. I watch Drift get what he needs to protect the feeding tube from water. I let him know I’m awake before he takes her clothes off, allowing me to leave the room and let Drift have time with his girl.

The terror twins are happy to hear that Drift slept all night, which allowed me to sleep. We hope this will continue, but we also worry about how easily Jamie gets sick.

Drift’s P.O.V.
I was hoping a warm bath would help Jamie, but I forgot about her broken ribs. She ends up in uncomfortable pain once I’m done dressing her, and I thought having me do the work would minimize the pain. I get her comfortable in bed, start a new infusion, and then tube feed her. 

Crosshairs returns by the time I finish feeding Jamie — who is now asleep. 
“I think I liked her in the medbay,” Crosshairs comments, “so you’re at least out of our room,” he quickly adds.
It will be harder to get Jamie out of bed with her injured ribs and pain. I don’t want to leave her alone even though she’s still dealing with getting exhausted quickly. I catch Crosshairs looking at the wheelchair and the IV bag, wondering what we can do. Though I don’t know if it’s good to have Jamie in the wheelchair all day as she sleeps.

Ironhide and the twins come by, hoping Jamie will watch a movie in the lounge room. We let them come in and see Jamie though she’s asleep. Of course, they try to get Crosshairs and me to go watch T.V. for a while.
“No, I’m not leaving her,” I argue.
“Never mind guys, maybe later,” Crosshairs adds. He hugs me the second the three leave, and the door closes, “she’ll be ok.”
She’s so weak and gets sick easily; this is far from over. Rather than argue, I hug Crosshairs and cry.

We didn’t know Ratchet would come by, which adds to my worry.
“I just want to check on her,” he explains, “though you should go do something fun.”
“NO!” Drift argues

Ratchet’s P.O.V.
I get why he’s afraid; Jamie got really sick again and flatlined. She can get sick easily, and this will last for months while she’s still severely underweight, but Drift is neglecting himself even if he’s still eating. I was told he finally slept all night. I hate adding to Drift’s worry as I check Jamie’s vials and breathing. I tell them they can have Jamie sleep in the wheelchair, but not all day. I tell them there’s a way to take the IV bag with them, but talk to Jamie first.

It takes a few minutes to get Drift to go down to the lounge room to watch T.V. for a while. I sit on Crosshairs’ bed, watching Jamie. Hating she’s being put through this scrap.

Jamie didn’t sleep long this time. As always, Jamie is looking for Crosshairs and Drift. I ask her if she wants to go down to the lounge room where they are., concerned she won’t squeeze my hand. She is not liking that I’m trying to move her onto my lap. I wrap her in a blanket and hold her, careful of the IV tubing and oxygen tube. I watch tears roll down her face.
“It’s ok; I know there’s still a lot of work before you’re fully recovered, but you know how much everyone cares about you.”
I don’t want to try Energon. She’s way too skinny and frail. I fear her body would surrender to the Energon, which would be a painful death.