One Day At a Time ✔️

Ch. 31 No Longer Strong For Him

Drift's P.O.V.
I hate there's not much I can do to help Jamie at this point. It's hard to be happy she wants to be held when she looks awful. I hate she's struggling to breathe and is back on the ventilator.
"Here you go," Crosshairs smiles as he hands me Jamie wrapped in a blanket. I can tell he's in no mood to joke. He wipes her face with a cooling cloth, "you'll be ok."
I'm terrified she'll die in my arms.

Ratchet walks in as Jamie closes her eyes.          Crosshairs takes her and puts her back on the bed.
"Easy, she fell asleep," Ratchet says.
"Come on, she'll be ok," Crosshairs has me stand up. He leads me out of the room. I don't know where he's thinking we're going to go, but I feel dizzy and nauseous.

Crosshairs' P.O.V.
Drift didn't look good as I got him to stand up, but I didn't think he'd throw up. I am not near a trash bin either.
Jolt rushes to help Drift to another room and get the trash bin. I didn't know Prime was here until I saw him walk in. I go clean up the mess; uncertain what Prime can do to help Drift.

"Ewe, Jolt, that's disgusting."
"I think his problem is stress, but I have to make sure," he says as he gets samples before I clean up the mess, trying not to worry as Ratchet walks into the room Drift is in. That's all I need for him to be sick and not see Jamie. Hoping this will end with the three of us fighting Megatron with the others.

I wait for Prime or Ratchet to walk out of the room, hoping that Drift isn't sick, knowing stress is already high for him. Ratchet and Prime walk out ten minutes later and tell me Drift is asleep.  
"He's panicking more than stressed," Ratchet explains.
"Can you blame him? The roller coaster he's watching Jamie go through."
I go into the room and sit by Drift, knowing he will have nightmares.

It's a rough two hours. Drift didn't sleep for long before having a nightmare and struggled to fall back asleep. Jamie is still asleep and looking worse than before. Drift doesn't want to leave the room even though he's terrified we'll hear that dreaded sound. 
At least you brought a comfortable chair, Mirage. Hopefully, he'll let himself fall asleep.

Ratchet's P.O.V.
It's rough this time around. I hate how Jamie wakes up as I check on her, looking at me with sadness in her eyes. I finally have pain management under control and worry she's thinking she's dying.
"I have to sit you up a little," I explain, hearing the fluid building up. I need to get Jamie to cough, but it will be difficult as she needs a little help breathing.
"Come on, Drift; she'll be fine while we get dinner," Crosshairs says.
Drift kisses Jamie and leaves the room with Crosshairs as Jolt walks in.
"I have to help you clean that out, but I have to take you off the ventilator," I explain, knowing Jamie is scared. 

We suctioned more than I thought we'd get. She's scared, but I need to help her cough this up. Good thing Crosshairs got Drift to leave.
I can't give Jamie a relaxant, but she's trying to fight us.
Jolt puts her back on the ventilator.
"Calm down; you're ok."
I carefully pick her up and sit in the chair with her. I see she's breathing faster now without looking at the monitor. She's so stressed that she's not feeling cold, which is not good. 

Jamie is calm and asleep ten minutes later.
I hear more fluid collected in her lungs.
"Time for a chest tube?" Jolt asks, clearly not liking the idea.
"No way she'd leave it in..."
"And if we sedate her, Drift will be a wreck even though he understands this would help. You see how much we suctioned out?"
This is likely because Jamie cannot cough, but the chest tube would help.

I dread telling Crosshairs and Drift when they return an hour later. Drift is worried as I let him hold Jamie as Jolt and I talk to Crosshairs in my office. 
"You've got to be kidding me?" Crosshairs sighs.
"There are ways to help her cough, but I don't think a cough assist machine will help clear up the fluid," I explain, "at least at this stage."
"She's already dealing with so much pain..." Crosshairs thinks for a few seconds and sighs, "do what you think will help her."

Crosshairs' P.O.V.
That bastard planned this well — even if the plan to give her terrible flu was planned a little later after finding out Jamie survived being at death's door. He knew how we'd feel watching Jamie struggle with this shit. I don't know if he knows Drift is struggling more than the rest of us, and I dread telling him what needs to be done. We're letting Drift have a little time with Jamie before telling him. 
I don't know if I should be happy Jamie woke up or not, even if Drift is smiling. Jamie looks awful and doesn't want to smile even though Drift holds her. I worry she's been thinking she's dying and wants to be with Drift before she goes. I feel my eyes water and leave the room.  

I sit on the bed in the room next door.
"Did you tell him?" Jolt asks.
"No, I can't; I worry how fast he'll spiral downhill mentally, even if he knows this will help her."
By now, I have let the tears loose. I watched Drift when he had the seizure, which was scary; I don't want to see that again. Jolt hugs me before leaving the room, closing the door behind him.
I sit on the floor and cry.

Drift's P.O.V.
It's odd Crosshairs left saying nothing. He'd always say he's leaving to give me time alone. I hold Jamie for a while before putting her on the bed and taking care of her. She does not like that I had to take the blanket off her for a few minutes. I'm glad I can cover her and still tube feed her, but I don't like that she's looking for him. Even she knows this is strange.
"It's ok. Take a nap, and we'll both be here when you wake up."
I kiss her and fix the blankets before leaving. Jamie will not stay awake for long.

I didn't have to go far to find Crosshairs. The doors to the rooms in the medbay are not closed when not in use, but the figure I see is sitting on the floor. I wasn't prepared to hear crying when I opened the door.
"Crosshairs?"
I turn on the light, sit next to him, and hug him. 
How long has he been crying alone? 
I hate how I can't help him.

It's concerning that Jolt and Ratchet walk in.
"We need to talk," Ratchet says as the two sit on the floor with us, "I need to put a chest tube in."
I know how serious that is.
"This will help her," Jolt adds, "she's unable to cough, and we worry about how frail she is to try the methods used to help people with trachs cough."

Ratchet has me listen to Jamie's lungs, and it's awful. I sit on the chair and sigh.
"This might be only three days, max. She's responding well to the medication."
Crosshairs and Jolt walk into the room.
"This will help her," Crosshairs says as he hugs me, "come on."
I kiss Jamie, and we leave the room. I want this scrap to end, and I want my femme back.